, X-NEWS: spcvxb alt.folklore.computers: 16137K Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0-3 14/03/90 VAX/VMS V5.4; site spcvxb.spc.edu Q Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!mcsun!uknet!slxsys!ibmpcug!dylan " Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers6 Subject: Re: Usenet Purity was Re: Wolf Hugs and stuff2 Message-ID: <1991Nov12.150505.19303@ibmpcug.co.uk>+ From: dylan@ibmpcug.co.uk (Matthew Farwell)  Date: 12 Nov 91 15:05:05 GMT/ Reply-To: dylan@ibmpcug.co.uk (Matthew Farwell) \ References: <1991Nov8.162938.16600@rice.edu> <RHP93M6@taronga.com> <robert.689832552@vulcan>( Organization: The IBM PC User Group, UK.
 Lines: 320  G This, of course, is the real Usenet Purity Test, posted to talk.bizarre 
 a while back.    Dylan. ------  [ From slxsys!ukc!mcsun!uunet!world!decwrl!sgi!shinobu!odin!news Fri Mar 15 13:44:54 GMT 1991 G Path: ibmpcug!slxsys!ukc!mcsun!uunet!world!decwrl!sgi!shinobu!odin!news . >From: cj@modernlvr.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre  Subject: Re: Seeking Purity Test5 Message-ID: <1991Mar13.194241.2328@odin.corp.sgi.com>  Date: 13 Mar 91 19:42:41 GMT References: <9849@hub.ucsb.edu> ) Sender: news@odin.corp.sgi.com (Net News) 1 Reply-To: cj@modernlvr.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)  Organization: SGI TechPubs
 Lines: 298   --- 5 6500gla@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu (Gabino Luis Alonso) writes: 4 |I am looking for a purity test that was posted some3 |time ago.  If you have a copy, please mail one to:  |	6500gla@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu  9 	No, I'm not going to mail it.  But here's a purity test. 7 	Hope this is the one you were looking for.  I wrote it  	just for you.  " ----------------------------------  1 I'll eat my hat if Carasso is more than 10% pure.    -- CJ's Net.Purity Test --   CREDITS:  ) C J Silverio (cj@modernlvr.wpd.sgi.com),  1 with suggestions from Bill Coderre (bc@apple.com)   
 INSTRUCTIONS:   & Read the questions.  Answer yes or no.+ If you're not sure how to answer, you lose.    SCORING:  : Score one point for every "yes" answer.  Other scoring is 9 as noted in individual questions.  After you've answered  < the questions, subtract your total from 100.  The resulting ! number is your purity percentage.     Suggested Score Interpretations:  J >100	You're a total weenie; go back to comp.sys.weenoids where you belong.H  75-100 Go back to soc.singles and alt.romance.chat, you horndog weenie.C  51-74	You lied about never posting your purity scores, didn't you? *  25-49	You alt.flame wanna-be-stud, you.  2  0-24	You must think you're net.joe.cool.  WRONG. * <0	You're a total net.weenie-- get a life.  	 THE QUIZ:    Reading   0 1.  Have you ever regularly read a Usenet group?  8 2.  Lose one point if you've ever referred to newsgroups     as "boards" or "bboards."   / 3.  Do you ever refer to newsgroups as 'froups?   4 4.  Do you now, or have you ever, read talk.bizarre?  0 5.  Have you ever regularly read an "alt" group?  @ 6.  Score one point for every year you've been a regular reader.  7 7.  Subtract one point from your total for each "comp"       group you read regularly.   5 8.  Subtract one point if you read alt.sex regularly.   9 9.  Subtract one point if you read soc.singles regularly.   1 10. Subtract five points if you read rec.humor.*.   > 11. Score one point for every item of clothing you own that's !     associated with a newsgroup.     12. Do you have a killfile?   9 13. Do you know about killfiles but refuse to use them on      principle?  & 14. Are you in anyone else's killfile?  ) 15. Have you read news.announce.newusers?   ? 16. Have you been on the net so long that you've never bothered #     to read news.announce.newusers?   B 17. Does news.announce.newusers contain an article that you wrote?  ; 18. Do you make "dot" jokes in your (non-net) conversation?      Posting   + 19. Have you ever posted to a Usenet group?   ) 20. To the same group more than 10 times?   " 21. More times than you can count?  C 22. Has your name ever appeared on one of the uunet "Top 25" lists?   ) 23. Were you #1?  If so, score 10 points.   > 24. Has your name ever been dropped in someone else's posting?  0 25. Is your dot-sig file less than 4 lines long?   26. More than 20 lines long?  & 27. Has your dot-sig ever been flamed?  0 28. Have you ever flamed someone else's dot-sig?  ) 29. Have you stopped using dot-sig files?   2 30. Are you quoted in any one else's dot-sig file?  = 31. Lose five points if you've ever posted to rec.humor.misc.   9 32. Lose one point for each lightbulb joke you've posted.   @ 33. Lose one point if you've ever posted a request for part x of     any story in alt.sex.*.   A 34. Lose five points if you've ever posted a request for "Cindy's 
     Torment."   @ 35. Lose one point if you've ever posted your purity test scores     to the net.   7 36. Score two points if you've posted them in rec.pets.   A 37. Lose one point for each pyramid scheme or chain letter you've      forwarded to the net.   = 38. Lose one point if you've ever flamed anyone for posting a #     pyramid scheme or chain letter.   : 39. Lose one point if you've ever posted a request for the"     definition of "SO" or "MOTAS".   40. Have you ever crossposted?  + 41. Have you ever crossposted to soc.women?   F 42. Have you ever crossposted to more than five groups simultaneously?  @ 43. Were those groups totally unrelated to each other and to the     topic of your posting?  C 44. Subtract one point if you have ever accidentally crossposted or      followed-up to misc.test.   @ 45. Have you ever deliberately crossposted to rec.arts.startrek      and talk.bizarre?    46. talk.bizarre and rec.pets?  # 47. Have you ever forged a posting?   $ 48. Have you ever forged a newgroup?  B 49. Has anyone ever forged a cancellation of one of your postings?  B 50. Have you ever forged a cancellation of someone else's posting?       Newsgroups & Politics   4 51. Score one point for every news.* group you read.  / 52. Have you ever voted for or against a group?   + 53. Have you ever proposed a new newsgroup?   9 54. Was there a huge controversy & flame-fight during the 3     discussion period/voting period for your group?   % 55. Did the vote for your group pass?   1 56. Did the backbone refuse to create your group?    57. Is there a cabal?    58. Is there a cabal of Daves?  1 59. Did you vote for comp.protocols.tcp-ip.eniac?   ? 60. Have you ever created an alt group without bothering to ask      permission?    61. A comp group?      Flaming    62.  Have you ever flamed?   63. Have you ever been flamed?  * 64. Have you ever been flamed for flaming?  F 65. Have you ever crossposted a flame to a group other than alt.flame?  - 66. Have you ever flamed in any news.* group?   H 67. Have you ever coaxed anybody into posting their SAT/GRE/etc. scores?  H 68. Lose five points if *you* have ever posted your SAT/GRE/etc. scores.  E 69. Lose one point if you've ever referred to alt.flame as a "sewer."   6 70. Have you ever set the "Followup-To:" to misc.test?   71. Did anyone fall for it?   2 72. Did the victim then post complaining about it?  D 73. Lose one point if you've ever told anyone to "take it to email."  D 74. Lose one point for every one of the following easy targets that      you've flamed: 		Roger David "Noelle" Carasso 		Roger Rabbit 		Kent Paul Dolan  		Ted Kaldis 		David J. Rasmussen
 		Kevin Darcy 1 		any PSU geek who crossposted a homophobic rant   		    to the entire net   > 75. Score one point for each of the above that has flamed you.  ? 76. Have you ever written a stern note to someone else's system      administrator?  < 77. Has anyone ever written a stern note about you to *your*     system administrator?   * 78. Are you your own system administrator?  ? 79. Have your posting privileges ever been yanked for something      you posted?   9 80. Have you ever recommended that someone else's posting      privileges be yanked?   9 81. Did your recommendation start a censorship flame war?      Periodicity   B 82. Have you ever taken part in the roving "censorship" flame war?  E 83. Have you ever taken part in the roving "homosexuality" flame war?    84. In news.admin?  @ 85. Lose five points if you were on the same side as Ted Kaldis.  E 86. Lose another five if you're not sure what side Ted Kaldis was on.s  @ 87. Lose a point if you've ever posted about the little kid with<     cancer who wants to get enough postcards to get into the#     Guinness Book of World Records.R   88. Can you name the kid?g   89. The other kid?  < 90. Have you ever flamed someone for posting about that kid?    
 Personalities9  * 91. Have you ever flamed Patricia O Tuama?  2 92. Have you ever been flamed by Patricia O Tuama?  8 93. Have you ever been complimented by Patricia O Tuama?  ' 94. Have you ever flamed Gene Spafford?i   95. Did he notice?  * 96. Have you ever flamed Chuq von Rospach?   97. Do you remember Weemba?   ( 98. Have you ever been flamed by Weemba?  / 99. Were you ever mentioned in a Maroney Award?    100. Are you Rich Rosen?     ---sH cj@modernlvr.wpd.sgi.com      C J Silverio/Brahms Gang/Berkeley CA 94720E "Usenet is like standing up in the middle of a crowded movie theater e- and yelling, "CAR FOR SALE!" --Peter Honeyman. -- o4 dylan@ibmpcug.co.uk || ...!uunet!uknet!ibmpcug!dylan& Just follow the simple rule - Rob Pike