$ X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 1471K Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0-3 14/03/90 VAX/VMS V5.4; site spcvxb.spc.edu b Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!swrinde!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrl!looking!funny-request Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny  Subject: xmas.c % Message-ID: <S351.1792@looking.on.ca> ( From: evan@telly.on.ca (Evan Leibovitch) Date: 14 Dec 91 08:20:06 GMT" Keywords: topical, computer, smirk Approved: funny@clarinet.com	 Lines: 63    /*    , AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH CARD TO ALL  + Lyrics:		Evan Leibovitch <evan@telly.on.ca> 3 Code:		Beverly Erlebacher <erlebach@cs.toronto.edu>  Written:	December 1989  " This code is in the public domain.   */   #include <stdio.h>  , #define	DEFAULT_HOLIDAY	"CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH" #define DAYS_OF_NEGLECT 12  3 char heading[] = "AN ELECTRONIC %s CARD TO ALL\n\n\ 1     Lyrics: Evan Leibovitch <evan@telly.on.ca>\n\ ;     Code: Beverly Erlebacher <erlebach@cs.toronto.edu>\n\n\ G     Dedicated to Dave Mason, Chris Siebenmann, and anyone who's left\n\ J     their computers alone just long enough for them to self-destruct:\n\n\5     (Sung to the tune of something or other...)\n\n";   = char * cardinal[] = {"And a", "Two", "Three", "Four", "Five", @     "Six", "Seven", "Eight", "Nine", "Ten", "Eleven", "Twelve"};  K char * ordinal[] = {"first", "second", "third", "fourth", "fifth", "sixth", P     "seventh", "eighth", "ninth", "tenth", "eleventh", "twelfth", "thirteenth"};  6 char * item[] = { "burnt-out V.D.T.", "faulty tapes;",H     "heads crashed;", "bad blocks;", "core dumps;", "bad controllers; ",=     "blown partitions;", "gettys dying;", "floppies frying;", B     "ports a-jamming;", "chips a-smoking;", "boards a-blowing;" };  C char daystr[] = "\nOn the %s day I left it, my Unix gave to me:\n";    char finale[] = G    "\nOn the %s day I started adapting my Nintendo for the VME bus.\n";    main(argc, argv)
 int  argc;
 char *argv[];    { 
 	int i, j;  7 	printf(heading, argc > 1 ? argv[1] : DEFAULT_HOLIDAY); ( 	for (i = 0; i < DAYS_OF_NEGLECT; i++) { 		printf(daystr, ordinal[i]); 
 		if (i == 0)  			printf("\tA %s\n", item[i]);  		else for (j = i; j >= 0; j--) - 			printf("\t%s %s\n", cardinal[j], item[j]);  	}* 	printf(finale, ordinal[DAYS_OF_NEGLECT]);	 	exit(0);  }  --O Selected by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.   J Please!  No copyrighted stuff.  Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics,G Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes. 