G From arizona!noao!ncar!tank!nucsrl!squires Sat Nov 12 15:59:48 MST 1988  Article 18836 of rec.humor: + Path: arizona!noao!ncar!tank!nucsrl!squires - >From: squires@eecs.nwu.edu (Matthew Squires)  Newsgroups: rec.humor  Subject: Re: do it ..." Message-ID: <4450021@eecs.nwu.edu> Date: 11 Nov 88 22:00:43 GMT References: <3423@hubcap.UUCP>. Organization: Northwestern U, Evanston IL, USA
 Lines: 182  ; /* sigh.  this is from back in my "cannonical list" period.   *  * mcs  */    =================  Everybody Does It  =================   " ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue.+ ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.  AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.   ANSI does it in the standard way ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. * ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus  ATTORNEYS make better motions.! AUDITORS like to examine figures.  BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.  BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night.; BANKERS do it with interest (penalty for early withdrawal!) : BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal" BARBERS do it with shear pleasure. BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.' BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base. $ BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.# BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey. " BEER BREWERS do it with more hops. BEER DRINKERS get more head.  BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.# BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry # BOSSES delegate the task to others.  BOWLERS have bigger balls. BRICKLAYERS lay all day.# BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber. , BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time. BUTCHERS have better meat. C'Bers do it on the air. CAMPERS do it in a tent. CARPENTERS hammer it harder.! CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor. ( CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm. CHEMISTS like to experiment. CHESSPLAYERS check their mates. $ CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation. CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically  CLOWNS do it for laughs.  COACHES whistle while they work.! COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs $ COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.& COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.6 COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.- CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation. $ CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it. COPS have bigger guns  COWBOYS handle anything horny. COWGIRLS like to ride bareback. $ CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls. CREDIT MANAGERS always collect. " DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds. DEADHEADS do it with Jerry. ) DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck. % DENTAL HYGENISTS do it till it hurts.  DENTISTS do it in your mouth.  DETECTIVES do it under cover.  DIETICIANS eat better." DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack. DIVERS do it deeper. DOCTORS do it with patience.! DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.  DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.  DRYWALLERS are better bangers. ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.  ENGINEERS charge by the hour.  EXECUTIVES have large staffs.  FARMERS spread it around.  FIREMEN are always in heat. " FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.* FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard. FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.  FURRIERS appreciate good beaver. GARBAGEMEN come once a week. GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses. $ GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day. GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.  GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.! GYMNISTS mount and dismount well. % HACKERS do it with fewer instructions % HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs. # HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency.  HANDYMEN like good screws.& HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision+ HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.  HUNTERS do it with a bang.& INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.- INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.  INVENTORS find a way.  JANITORS clean up afterwards.  JEWELERS mount real gems.  JOGGERS do it on the run.  LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper. LAWYERS do it in their briefs. LIBRARIANS do it quietly. ! LOCKSMITHS can get into anything. " LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.  MACHINESTS make the best screws.# MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye. ) MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.  MANAGERS supervise others.! MARKETING REPs do it on comission  MILKMEN deliver twice a week! MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.  MINERS sink deeper shafts. MINISTERS do it on Sundays.  MISSILEMEN have better thrust. MODELS do it in any position. 6 MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters4 MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs. MOVIE STARS do it on film. MUSICIANS do it with rythm. - NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.  NURSES call the shots.  OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under.! OPERATORS do it person-to-person.   OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.# PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.  PARAMEDICS can revive anything. ! PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash. - PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion  PILOTS keep it up longer.  PLUMBERS do it under the sink. POLICEMEN like big busts. : POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected. POSTMEN come slower., PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets. PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.  PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.  PROFESSORS do it by the book.  RACERS like to come in first. ' RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall. % RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it. , REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots. RECYCLERS use it again.  REPAIRMEN can fix anything.  REPORTERS do it daily.% RESEARCHERS are still looking for it. ! RETAILERS move their merchandise.  ROOFERS do it on top.  RUNNERS get into more pants. SAILORS like to be blown. ) SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.  SCIENTISTS discovered it.  SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.& SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop." SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.) SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.  SPELUNKERS do it underground. % SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.  STEWARDESSES do it in the air. STUDENTS usae their heads. SURGEONS are smooth operators. TAILORS make it fit.! TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.  TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.9 TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking. 0 TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.  TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.$ TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks. TRUCKERSS carry bigger loads.  TYPISTS do it in triplicate. VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers.  VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up. WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.  WATER SKIERS come down harder. WELDERS have hotter rods.  WRESTLERS know the best holds. WRITERS have novel ways.    