 X-NEWS: spcvxb alt.sex: 80124 P Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edui Path: spcvxb!rutgers!jvnc.net!yale.edu!spool.mu.edu!agate!usenet.ins.cwru.edu!cleveland.Freenet.Edu!bx461  Newsgroups: alt.sex + Subject: [How Do You "Do It"?], Part 1 of 6 . Message-ID: <1i3hrlINN1kl@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>1 From: bx461@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Leo J. Mauler)  Date: 2 Jan 93 07:56:37 GMT D Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)$ NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu
 Lines: 216    @ ----------------------------------------------------------------1 How Do People "Do It"?  (Sexual Job Descriptions) ? edited and collected by Leo Mauler, bx461@cleveland.freenet.edu @ ---------------------------------------------------------------- [A]  AI hackers do it artificially! AI hackers do it breast first! AI hackers do it depth first!  AI hackers do it robotically!  AI hackers do it with robots!  AI hackers do it with rules!+ AI hackers make a big production out of it! / AM Disc Jockeys do it with Modulated Amplitude!   APL programmers do it backwards!  APL programmers do it in a line!! APL programmers do it with stile!  AT&T does it in Long Lines! " Accountants are good with figures! Accountants do it for profit! $ Accountants do it with double entry! Acrophobes get down!* Acrophobes go down with little persuasion! Actors do it in the lime light!  Actors do it on camera!  Actors do it on cue! Actors do it on stage! Actors play around!  Actors pretend doing it! Actors do it in the limelight!( Acupuncturists do it with a small prick!# Ada programmers do it by committee! " Ada programmers do it in packages!+ Advertisers use the "new, improved" method! * Aerobics instructors do it until it hurts! Agents do it undercover!' Air traffic controllers do it by radar! * Air Traffic Controllers do it in the dark!0 Air Traffic Controllers do it with their tongue!1 Air Traffic Controllers tell pilots how to do it! A Airlifters penetrate further, linger longer, & drop a bigger load   Alexander Portnoy does it alone!% Algebraists do it with homomorphisms!  Algebraists do it in groups! Algol 68 programmers do it od! Algol programmers block it out! : Algorithmic analysts do it with a combinatorial explosion! Alpinists do it higher! % Altar boys do it in the confessional! ' Alvin Toffler will do it in the future!  Ambulance drivers come quicker! " Analog hackers do it continuously! Anarchists do it revoltingly!  Anesthetists do it painlessly! Anglers do it with worms! ! Animators do it 24 times a second ! Ansi does it in the standard way! # Anthropologists do it with culture!  Apologists do it orally!! Archeologists do it with mummies!  Archeologists like it old!9 Archers make better lovers cause they have longer shafts!  Archers use longer shafts!! Architects do it late!             Architects have great plans!' Arlo Guthrie does it on his Motorcycle! = Armadilloes do it avec l'amour (Fr., "despite their armour")!   Artillerymen do it with a burst! Artists are exhibitionists!  Artists do it by design! Artists do it in the buff! Artists do it with emotion!  Artists do it creatively!  Assassins do it from behind!' Assembler programmers do it one-to-one! * Assembly line workers do it over and over! Astronauts do it in orbit! Astronauts do it on the moon!  Astronomers do it all night! Astronomers do it in the dark!! Astronomers do it all night long! " Astronomers do it under the stars!) Astronomers do it while gazing at Uranus! ) Astronomers do it with even longer tubes! " Astronomers do it with long tubes! Astronomers do it with stars!  Astronomers do it with Uranus!" Astronomers do it with a Big Bang! Attorneys make better motions! Australians do it down under! ! Auditors like to examine figures!  Authors do it by rote!@ Auto makers do it with standard equipment or optional equipment!7 Auto mechanics do it under hoods, using oil and grease! @ ---------------------------------------------------------------- [B] + BASIC programmers do it all over the place!  BASIC programmers GOTO it! Babies do it in their pants! Babysitters charge by the hour!  Bach did it with the organ!  Bailiffs always come to order! Bakers do it for the dough!  Bakers knead it daily!  Ballet dancers do it on tip-toe! Ballet dancers do it with toes!   Banana pickers do it in bunches! Bananas do it in bunches!  Band members do it all night!  Band members do it in a parade! . Band members do it in front of 100,000 people! Band members do it in public! ! Band members do it in sectionals! ) Band members do it on the football field!  Bankers do it with interest!A Bankers do it for money; there is a penalty for early withdrawal! > Bank tellers do it with interest! Penalty for early withdrawl! Baptists do it under water! . Barbarians do it with anything!  (As do orcs!) Barbers do it with Brylcreem! " Barbers do it with shear pleasure! Bartenders do it on the rocks!' Baseball players do it with their bats! $ Baseball players hit more home runs!' Baseball players make it to first base!  Baseball players slide it in! $ Basketball players score more often! Batman does it with Robin!! Bayseians probably do it!         # Beekeepers like to eat their honey! " Beer brewers do it with more hops! Beer drinkers get more head! Beethoven did it apassionately! 7 Beethoven was the first to do it with a full orchestra! & Bell Labs programmers do it with UNIX!  Bell-ringers pull it themselves! Bicyclists do it in 10 speeds!  Bicyclists do it with a cadence! Bicyclists do it with chains!  Bikers do it on the road! & Bill Clinton does it without inhaling! Biologists do it with clones! 0 Birds do it, bees do it, even chimpanzees do it!9 Blondes do it with a thermos! (from the blonde joke list)  Bo Jackson knows doing it!" Boardheads do it with stiff masts!  Body-builders do it with muscle!! Bookkeepers do it for the record! $ Bookkeepers do it with double entry! Bookworms only read about it! # Bosses delegate the task to others!  Bowlers do it in the alley!  Bowlers have bigger balls! Boxers do it with fists!! Boy Scouts do it in the woods!    " Bridge players do it with finesse!# Bridge players try to get a rubber! $ Bridge players do it with a partner! Bricklayers lay all day! Broadcasters do it on the air! Buddhists imagine doing it! * Building inspectors do it under the table!  Bureaucrats do it with red tape!, Bus drivers come early and pull out on time! Bus drivers do it in transit!  Butchers have better meat!@ Butchers do it in the raw!                                      @ ---------------------------------------------------------------- [C] ' C programmers SWITCH and then BREAK it!  C programmers continue it!! C programmers have good pointers! ! C programmers do it in libraries!  C'Bers do it on the air!! C++ programmers do it with class! A C++ programmers do it with private members and public objects!    ! COBOL hackers do it by committee! " COBOL programmers do it very slow!! COBOL programmers do it with bugs  CS111 students do it in binary!  CS111 students do it with ORGs! 0 CS111 students do it with interspersed comments!! Calculus students do it by parts!  Californians do it laid back!  Campers do it in a tent!% Car customisers do it with a hot rod!  Car mechanics jack it!" Cardiologists do it halfheartedly!# Cardiologists do it lightheartedly! A Carpenters do it tongue in groove!                                 Carpenters hammer it harder! Carpenters nail harder!  Carpenters do it indoors! ! Carpet layers do it on the floor! / Cartoonists do it with just a few good strokes!  Catholics do it A LOT!# Catholics talk about it afterwards!  Cavaliers do it mounted!. Chaos theorists do it with strange attractors!$ Cheerleaders do it enthusiastically!( Cheerleaders do it with more enthusiasm! Chefs do it for dessert! Chefs do it in the kitchen! ( Chemical engineers do it in packed beds!% Chemists do it periodically on table!  Chemists do it reactively!! Chemists do it in test tubes!     ! Chemists do it in the fume hood!   Chemists like to experiment!  Chess players check their mates!# Chess players do it in their minds!w -- 6; Never do this at home.  Look how easily it killed this sig.p? /\  ___/\  ___/\  _____________________________________________.?   \/     \/     \/  bx461@cleveland.freenet.edu (Leo J. Mauler)[? DISCLAIMER: Everything I say is false, including this sentence.n