= Conrad, you're a goddam fool.  If you don't know why the hell = thoe files are in your directory, I'm certainly not going to  < take my valuable time to tell you.  In any case, I certainlyA don't know, but you probably should just delete the goddam things & back into the hell-pit they came from.   But listen to this:   
 Happy Hour  ? Setting:  Joe's Bar.  Joe is on the bar, and George is standing @ by the bar, leaning on it.  Bill and Mel are sitting at a table,< somewhat indifferent.  At some point during Joe and George's> dialogue, Bill and Mel perk up and suddenly become very happy.  > George: So I don't know if I'll be able to come in on Tuesday,7 Joe.  Maybe one of the other bouncers can cover for me.   : Joe: Okay. That'll be fine, I'll move the schedule around.  4 George: I've got to go to a funeral.  My uncle died.  ) Joe: Oh, that's too bad.  What happened?    / George: It's really strange.  His hat exploded.   
 Joe: What?  H George: He was wearing his hat, and it just blew up.  Apparently he had L been having a lot of trouble with his wardrobe.  He used to be up all hours J of the night arguing with one piece of clothing or another.  First it was J just a slight disagreement with one of his clip-on ties, then he began to G exchange insults with his leisure suits and pick fights with his tweed  H jacket.  Then late last month he was pretty badly burned when a pair of . argyle socks he was wearing burst into flames.   Joe: Gee, that's really sad.  6 Bill: (from middle of the room)  Hey, guys it's 6:02 !  % Joe: 6:02? You now what that means...    George: Happy Hour!   A 	At this point everyone becomes unbearably happy.  George crosses J to stage right, stands very happily, and bounces lightly (being a bouncer < and all).  Bill gets up and goes to the bar for more drinks.  3 Bill: Could you make us two gin and tonics, please?      Joe: Why, I'd be happy to.  , Bill: (To George) Happy New Year over there.   George: It's not New Year.  J Bill: No, but I sure am Happy. (Turns to Joe.) Ya know Joe, I really like  to come during happy hour.  ? Joe: Yes, everyone seems to enjoy happy hour here at Joe's Bar.   G Bill: How could they not enjoy it?  But you know what, Joe?  Sometimes  J after being so happy for an hour, I go home and I feel kind of, you know, 	 un-happy.   J Joe: Yes, I know what you mean, Bill.  But we can't talk about that now.   Not during Happy Hour.  ? Mel: Hey, Joe, why don't you just have Happy Hour all day long?   C Joe: Hmmm.  If we did that, we couldn't call it Happy Hour anymore.   ( Bill: You'd have to call it Happy Days !   All: Happy Days !!!   A 	Bill sits at table with Mel.  Scott enters and walks to the bar.   K Scott: (Depressed) Bartender, give me a scotch on the rocks... uh, make it  	 a double.    Joe: I'd be Happy to.    Scott: What a lousy day.  C Mel: You don't sound very happy, Pal.  You must be new around here.   L Scott: Yeah.  I just got into town last week, and I've been having a lot of 2 problems.  My car broke down, and my wife left me.  K Joe: Well, we have a policy here at Joe's Bar.  At the hour of 6:00 begins  < Happy Hour, and happy hour prices are in effect until 7:00.   J Scott: Well, that's good because I don't have much money.  I just lost my  job and ...   F Joe: I'm not kidding Pal.  This is happy hour, and if you don't git a @ little happier real quick I'm going to have to ask you to leave.   Scott:  Listen, Mac...  G Joe:  I can already tell that you're not going to enjoy yourself.  (to  L George)  George, would you be kind enough to escort this Un-Happy gentleman  out of here?  F George:  Sure, Joe, I'd be Happy to.  (Scott does not resist as he is > pushed out by George)  And don't come back until you cheer up.  . Bill: Hey, Joe.  What was wrong with that guy?  E Joe:  I'll tell you later ... After Happy Hour.  (Mel gets real happy  and spills her drink).  J Bill: Uh oh , oh no!  (Happily) Looks like my wife got a little too happy 7 and spilled her drink.  Could you make her another one?    Joe: Why, I'd be Happy to.   (lights out)  