d X-NEWS: spcvxb alt.sex: 4643Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0 10/3/90 VAX/VMS V5.3; site spcvxb.spc.eduD Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!njin!rutgers!ucsd!ucbvax!ulkyvx.BITNET!CESNYD01 Newsgroups: alt.sex 3 Subject: Canonical list of 'how they do it's - LONG . Message-ID: <66B16253651F603753@ulkyvx.bitnet>> From: CESNYD01@ulkyvx.BITNET (AlberCrombie - The one and only) Date: 13 Jul 90 02:27:00 GMT" Sender: daemon@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU
 Lines: 923    2                CANONICAL LIST OF 'HOW THEY DO IT's  J Here it is again (oh, God! NO!) Yup, new and improved.  The whole shebang.N It's kinda long, but fun.  Got anymore, send 'em to me.  I promise not to postO this thing again until I get a whole bunch of requests to do so, or I get about  a zillion updates. Promise!!! 5                                         AlberCrombie. P =========================<<<cut here>>>=========================================& A king does it with his official seal.) AI hackers              do it with rules. + AI hackers              do it breast first. 8 AI hackers              make a big production out of it.* AI hackers              do it with robots.* AI hackers              do it robotically.+ AI hackers              do it artificially. * AI hackers              do it depth first.) AI hackers              do it with robots ( APL programmers         do it with stile APL programmers are functional. ( APL programmers         do it backwards.  APL programmers do it backwards.0 Accountants             do it with double entry. Accountants do it with balance. . Accountants             are good with figures.! Acrophobes              get down. ' Actors                  do it on stage. % Actors                  do it on cue.  Actors play around+ Ada programmers         do it by committee. * Ada programmers         do it in packages.# Ada programmers do it by committee. " Ada programmers do it in packages.7 Advertisers             use the "new, improved" method. $ Advertising majors do it with style.- Aerobics instructors    do it until it hurts. . Aerospace Engineers do it with lift and trust.) Agents                  do it undercover. * Air Traffic Controllers do it in the dark.1 Air Traffic Controllers tell pilots how to do it. ' Air traffic controllers do it by radar. P Airlifters              penetrate further, linger longer, and drop a bigger load% Alpinists               do it higher. % Ambulance drivers       come quicker. + Analog hackers          do it continuously. ) Anglers                 do it with worms. / Animators               do it 24 times a second 4 Ansi                    does it in the standard way.$ Archeologists           like it old.) Architects              have great plans.  Arsonist do it with fire. + Artillerymen            do it with a burst. ( Artists                 do it by design.+ Artists                 are exhibitionists.  Artists do it with emotion Artists do it with creativity. Assassins do it from behind.) Assembler programmers   do it one-to-one. ' Assembler programmers do it one-to-one. , Assembly line workers   do it over and over.' Astronauts              do it in orbit. 5 Astronomers             do it while gazing at Uranus. * Astronomers can't do it with the lights on* Astronomers             do it with Uranus.4 Astronomers (astrophysicists) do it with a Big Bang.. Astronomers             do it under the stars.> Astronomers do it with thier Telescopes  (Refraction periods?)* Astronomers             do it in the dark.) Astronomers             do it with stars.  Astronomers only do it at Night , Attorneys               make better motions.0 Auditors                like to examine figures.& Authors                 do it by rote.N Auto makers             do it with standard equipment (or optional equipment).6 B&Ders do it with their hands tied behind their backs!  BASIC programmers       GOTO it.+ Babysitters             charge by the hour.  Backstrokers do it face up- Bailiffs                always come to order. ' Bakers                  knead it daily. O Bankers do it with interest. (However, there is a penalty for early withdrawal) B Banker -   Past performance is no guarantee of future potential...) Bananas                 do it in bunches. 9 Band members            do it in front of 100,000 people. * Band members            do it in a parade., Band members            do it in sectionals.( Band members            do it all night.4 Band members            do it on the football field.( Band members            do it in public.. Barbarians do it with anything.  (As do orcs.)2 Barbers                 do it with shear pleasure.+ Bartenders              do it on the rocks. 8 Baseball Players (Sports people) Do it for alot of Money. Baseball players        make it to first base.+ Baseball players        hit more home runs. , Baseball players have leather-covered balls.+ Basic programmers do it all over the place. 1 Basic programmers       do it all over the place. ) Basketball players have big rubber balls. , Basketball players dribble before they shoot) Basketball players      score more often. 0 Beekeepers              like to eat their honey.- Beer brewers            do it with more hops. & Beer drinkers           get more head.( Beta Testers do it looking for mistakes.+ Bicyclists              do it in 10 speeds. ; Biochemists make better lovers...want us to make *you* one? P Bio -   Does that mean your offering to make a better lover than the one I alrea     dy have, or to improve ME?!??* Biologists              do it with clones.' Bo Jackson              knows doing it. / Boardheads              do it with stiff masts.  Body-builders do it with muscle / Bookkeepers             do it with double entry 4 Bosses                  delegate the task to others.* Bowlers                 have bigger balls.$ Breaststrokers touch with both hands$ Bricklayers             lay all day., Bridge players          try to get a rubber.+ Bridge players          do it with finesse. % Broadcast/Cable Majors do it on film. 0 Broadcast/Cable Majors do it to epic proportions. Building inspectors     do it under the table.8 Bus drivers             come early and pull out on time.) Butchers                have better meat.  Butchers do it with dead meat. C programmers continue it. C programmers do it with lint. C programmers SWITCH often. 1 C programmers           SWITCH and then BREAK it. ' C programmers SWITCH and then BREAK it. $ C programmers           continue it.) C'Bers                  do it on the air. 5 C++ programmers do it with their friends, in private. - CIA operatives do it with a security blanket. + COBOL hackers           do it by committee. " COBOL programmers do it very slow.( COBOL programmers       do it very slow.9 CS111 students          do it with interspersed comments. ( CS111 students          do it in binary.( CS111 students          do it with ORGs.( Californians            do it laid back.( Campers                 do it in a tent.- Cardiologists           do it lightheartedly. , Cardiologists           do it halfheartedly.) Carpenters              hammer it harder. + Carpet layers           do it on the floor. ; Cartoonists             do it with just a few good strokes.  Cavaliers do it mounted.3 Cheerleaders            do it with more enthusiasm. / Cheerleaders            do it enthusiastically. - Chefs                   do it in the kitchen. * Chefs                   do it for dessert.- Chemical engineers      do it in packed beds. ) Chemists                do it reactively. 3 Chemists                do it periodically on table # Chemists do it in an excited state. % Chemisty majors do it experimentally.  Chess Masters mate in two F Chess players           do it with knights/kings/queens/bishops/mates.* Chessplayers            check their mates.. Chiropractors           do it by manipulation.0 Civil Engineers         do it by reinforcing it./ Civil engineers         do it with an erection. * Civil engineers         do it in the dirt. Clerics do it with their gods.* Clock makers            do it mechanically) Clowns                  do it for laughs. ' Cobol programmers       do it with bugs ( Cocktail waitresses     serve highballs.* Comedians               do it for a laugh.* Commodities traders     do it in the pits.. Communications majors do it with their mouths., Communists              do it without class.& Computer Scientists do it byte by byte( Computer game players   just can't stop.; Computer operators      get the most out of their software.o* Computer scientists     simulate doing it.  Computer scientists automate it.< Conenl Sanders          does it, and then licks his fingers.+ Congressmen             do it in the house.,0 Construction workers    lay a better foundation.0 Consultants             tell other how to do it. Cooks do it with oil.s. Cops                    do it with nightsticks* Cops                    do it by the book.( Cops                    have bigger guns Cops do it in leather.. Cowboys                 handle anything horny. Cowboys make it on horse. Cowgirls                like to ride bareback., Crane operators         have swinging balls.' Credit managers         always collect.t, Crosscountry runners    do it in open fields Cryonicists Stay Stiff Longer! Csh does it with its children. D.M.s do it behind a screen. Dan Quayle does it in the dark. , Dan Quayle              does it in the dark.2 Dancers                 do it in leaps and bounds. Dancers do it with grace) Data Processors         do it in batches.a) Deadheads               do it with Jerry.  Debaters do it in pairs % Debaters do it inin front of a judge.t Debaters do it in standing up  Debaters do it in orally- Debaters do it in for eight minutes at a timed5 Deep-sea divers         do it under extreme pressure.o4 Deer hunters            will do anything for a buck., Dental hygenists        do it till it hurts., Dentists                do it in your mouth.+ Dentists                do it with filling. * Detectives              do it under cover.# Dieticians              eat better. ) Digital hackers         do it off and on. + Direct mailers          get it in the sack.i- Dispatchers             do it with frequency.p# Distance swimmers keep it up longers% Divers                  do it deeper.c* Divers                  do it for a score.  Divers                  go deep. Divers do it deeper., Doctors                 do it with patience.B Doctors                 take two aspirins and do it in the morning( Doctors                 do it in the OR.B Doctors                 take two aspirin and do it in the morning.. Drivers                 do it with their cars./ Druggists               fill your prescription.  Druids do it in the bushes.i Druids do it with animals. Druids leave no trace.% Drummers                do it louder.h* Drummers                do it in 4/4 time.7 Drummers                do it with both hands and feet.h  Drummers                beat it.* Drummers                do it with rhythm.% Drummers                do it longer.h Drummers pound ito+ Drywallers              are better bangers.h/ Dungeon Masters         have better encounters. / Dungeon Masters         do it to you REAL GOOD.y EE's do it on an impulse.a- Economists              do it at bliss point.t) Economists              do it cyclically.i* Economists              do it with a dual.2 Economists              do it in an Edgeworth Box.; Economists              do it with an atomistic competitor.  Economists do it with interest.eF Education majrs make you do it again and again until you get it right.1 Electrical Engineers do it with large capacities.s1 Electrical Engineers    do it with super positionr, Electrical Engineers    do it on an Impulse.3 Electrical Engineers    do it with faster rise timet4 Electrical engineers    are shocked when they do it./ Electricians            do it with 'NO SHORTS'.  Electricians do it with spark.. Electricians            do it in their shorts.* Electricians            check your shorts.. Electrochemists         have greater potential Elevator men do it up and down.f Elves do it in fairy rings. + Engineers               charge by the hour.d- Engineers               do it with precision.t= Engineers               do it to a first order approximation.r* Engineers               do it in practice./ Engineers               do it any way they can.d- English                 do it with an accent.e) English majors          do it with style.p( Entymologists           do it with bugs./ Evangalists             do it with him watchingh0 Evangelists             do it with Him watching.* Executives              have large staffs.$ Existentialists         do it alone., F. B. I.                does it under cover.$ FORTH programmers do it from behind.# FORTRAN programmers     just DO it.l( FORTRAN programmers     do it with SOAP.$ FORTRAN programmers do it with SOAP. FORTRAN programmers just DO it.s) Farmers                 spread it around.e' Fencers "  "  "    "     "    "  metal.g' Fencers always extend before the lunge. " Fencers always make good advances.) Fencers are always concerned with safety.r Fencers are never foiled.s( Fencers are trained to use their swords.' Fencers do it with three feet of sword.  Fencers do it in a full lunge. Fencers go for the point.  Fencers go one on one." Fencers have better point control. Fencers keep their swords up.g Fencers know when to engage. Fencers know how to thrust. ! Fencers know how to cross swords.w Fencers know how to extend.i# Fencers know where they are aiming. % Fencers know how to saber the moment.a Fencers play with their swords.? Fencers play the touching game.i' Fetuses                 do it in-vitro. + Firemen                 are always in heat.h. Firemen                 do it with a big hose.- Firemen                 do it wearing rubber.r' Fishermen               do it for reel.t0 Fishermen               are proud of their rods.) Flagpole sitters        do it in the air.n1 Football players        are measured by the yard.a6 Football players        do it offensively/defensively.! Football players have oval balls./& Four-wheelers           eat more bush.? Frustrated hackers      use self-modifying infinite perversion.o/ Furriers                appreciate good beaver.e; Fuzzy theorists (and Zen Monks) both do it and don't do it.t2 Gamblers                do it with a kidde (kitty)) Gamblers                do it on a hunch.h) Garbagemen              come once a week.g+ Gardeners               have 50 foot hoses. % Gas station attendants  pump all day. " Geographers do it globally.....:-), Geologists              are great explorers.5 Geologists              do it to get their rocks off. ' Geologists know how to make the bedrocka- Geometers               do it constructively.t, Gerald Ford             does it on his face.  Gerald Ford does it on his face. Gnomes are too short to do it.N GNU programmers do it for free.  And they don't give a damn about look & feel.  Golf players have dimpled balls.* Golfers                 do it in 18 holes.% Gravediggers            die to do it..) Gymnasts                do it with grace.d0 Gymnists                mount and dismount well.P Hacker                  just need a tight PUSHJ, a loose pair of UUOs, and a shi ft.r: Hackers                 do it without you even knowing it.; Hackers                 do it without proof of termination. + Hackers                 do it in libraries. ( Hackers                 do it digitally.* Hackers                 do it relocatably.( Hackers                 do it during PM./ Hackers                 get off on tight loops. * Hackers                 do it immediately.3 Hackers                 appreciate virtual dresses.d1 Hackers                 do it with their fingers.x4 Hackers                 do it locally (or globally).' Hackers                 do it in loops.e0 Hackers                 know all the right MOVs., Hackers                 do it in two states.' Hackers                 do it randomly.o' Hackers                 take big bytes. . Hackers                 do it during downtime./ Hackers                 do it with key strokes.e0 Hackers                 do it with side effects.( Hackers                 do it in a HRRI.' Hackers                 stay up longer.b) Hackers                 do it in batches.l* Hackers                 do it recursively.( Hackers                 do it all night.) Hackers                 do it absolutely.r- Hackers                 do it with computers. 0 Hackers                 do it without arguments.6 Hackers                 do it with fewer instructions.+ Hackers                 do it concurrently. 4 Hackers                 have faster access routines., Hackers                 do it automatically.5 Hackers                 do it with recursive descent. / Hackers                 do it in the microcode.s+ Hackers                 do it at link time. 0 Hackers                 do it without detaching.) Hackers                 do it with words.n/ Hackers                 do it with quick sorts.b, Hackers                 know what to diddle., Hackers                 do it conditionally.3 Hackers                 do it with insertion sorts. , Hackers                 have high bod rates.1 Hackers                 do it without protection.d' Hackers                 do it with DDT.s' Hackers                 do it detached. * Hackers                 do it iteratively., Hackers                 do it with phantoms., Hackers                 do it in O(n log n).( Hackers                 do it with bugs.7 Hackers                 do it with simultaneous access.o+ Hackers                 do it with editors. * Hackers                 do it with slaves.+ Hackers                 do it sequentially.e. Hackers                 stay logged in longer.1 Hackers                 do it with high priority.s& Hackers                 make it quick.+ Hackers                 have good hardware.r) Hackers                 do it in SEXTRAN.n0 Hackers                 have it where it counts.* Hackers                 do it with demons.. Hackers                 do it with interrupts.- Hackers                 do it by the numbers.n' Hackers                 do it in dumps.e- Hackers                 do it all night long.n( Hackers                 are I/O experts., Hackers                 do it without a net.* Hackers                 do it reentrantly.' Hackers                 do it attached.c3 Hackers                 discover the powers of two. , Hackers                 do it synchronously.) Hackers                 do it discretely.c) Hackers                 do it indirectly.n( Hackers                 do it in stacks.- Hackers                 have high bawd rates. * Hackers                 do it graphically.' Hackers                 do it in trees.e, Hackers                 multiply with stars.0 Hackers                 have fast response time.* Hackers                 do it efficiently.% Hackers                 get overlaid.hB Hackers                 don't do it--they're hacking all the time.3 Hackers                 have better software tools. , Hackers                 do it in less space.. Hackers                 do it in the software., Hackers                 do it interactively.' Hackers                 do it bug-free. % Hackers                 do it faster.o% Hackers                 do it loaded.D- Hackers                 avoid deadly embrace. * Hackers                 do it in parallel.* Hackers do it with all sorts of characters0 Hairdressers            give the best blow jobs. Hams do it with frequency.0 Handball players have little solid rubber balls.) Handymen                like good screws.e/ Hardware hackers        do it with connections.a- Hardware hackers        do it intermittently.e+ Hardware hackers        do it electrically.EJ Hardware hackers        do it with uncommon emitters into open collectors.< Hardware hackers        do it over a wide temperature range.0 Hardware hackers        do it with transceivers.. Hardware hackers        do it with resistance./ Hardware hackers        do it with bus drivers.a3 Hardware hackers        do it with male connectors. 3 Hardware hackers        do it with maximum ratings.a% Hardware hackers        are a charge.t) Hardware hackers        do it with power. 9 Hardware hackers        do it with emitter-coupled logic. . Hardware hackers        have sensitive probes.- Hardware hackers        do it with AC and DC.n/ Hardware hackers        have faster rise times.n. Hardware hackers        do it closely coupled.7 Hardware hackers        do it with female banana plugs.a* Hardware hackers        do it with charge.' Hardware hackers        do it on a bus.t& Hardware hackers        do it noisily.) Hawaiians               do it volcanicly.h0 Helicopter Pilots       do it with autorotation.- Helicopter Pilots       do it while hovering. . Hewlett packard         does it with precision' Hikers                  do it naturaly.m, Historians              do it for prosperityH Hobbits do it only if it isn't dangerous.  (Well, MOST hobbits, anyway.)  Horn players do it French style.2 Horseback riders        stay in the saddle longer.* Hunters                 do it with a bang.* Hunters                 do it in the bush.0 Hunters                 go deeper into the bush., Hunters                 eat what they shoot.. Hurdlers                do it every 10 meters.0 I.M.ers [Individual Medley] know all the strokes< I/O Hackers             have to condition their device first/ I/O Hackers             do it without interruptd* IRS                     does it everywhere- Illusionists only LOOK like they're doing it.s Illusionists fake it.w4 Indiscreet mathematicians do it in uncountable ways., Infantrymen             do it in the trench.+ Insurance salesmen      are premium lovers.e1 Interior decorators     do it all over the house.v Introverts do it alone. ! Introverts do it with themselves. , Inventors               find a way to do it., Janitors                clean up afterwards. Jean d'Arc makes it french) Jedi Knights            do it FORCEfully? ( Jewelers                mount real gems.* Jockeys                 do it at the gate.0 Jockeys                 do it with their horses.) Joggers                 do it on the run.a* Judges                  do it in chambers. Kamikazes do it once.s: Kayakers                do it, roll over, and do it again.) Knowledge engineers do it with expertise.eO Korfball players do it with the other sex. (Korfball is the mixed team sport in -    the world. Mixed rugby etc doesn't count.)s# LISP hackers            are thweet.a) LISP hackers            do it with rplacda2 LISP hackers            do it in lambda functions.A LOTS hackers            do it sloooooooowwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyy. * Landlords               do it every month.( Landscapers             plant it deeper.; Laser printers          do it without making an impression.m. Lawyers                 do it in their briefs.( Lawyers                 do it in briefs.% Lawyers                 do it to you.s* Lawyers                 do it with clause.& Librarians              do it quietly.* Librarians              do it by the book.. Locksmiths              can get into anything.3 Logicians               do it or they do not do it.s$ Long distance runners   last longer.3 Long jumpers            do it with a running start.k7 Long-distance runners   do it on a predetermined route. H Louisianans             do it differently.  ("Big Easy" -- Dennis Quaid)' Machine Coders          do it in bytes. - Machine language programmers do it very fast. - Machine language programmers do it very fast. - Machinests              make the best screws. ( Macintosh programmers   do it in windows! Mages do it with their familiars.  Magic Users have crystal balls. # Magic-users do it with their hands.t1 Magicians               are quicker than the eye.e Magicians do it with mirrors.  Magicians Do it with mirrors.k1 Maintenance men         sweep 'em off their feet.aB Malingerers             do it as long as they can't get out of it.) Managers                supervise others. * Managers                make others do it., Managers                do it by delegation.+ Marketing reps          do it on comission.i1 Married people          do it with frozen access.i% Martial Artists do it with technique. 0 Math majors do it discreetly and continuously..." Math majors do it with accurately.0 Mathematicians          do it with Nobel's wife., Mathematicians          do it commutatively.( Mathematicians work it out with a pencil/ Mathematicians          do it transcendentally.bA Mathematicians          do it over an open unmeasurable interval. * Mathematicians          prove they did it.+ Mathematicians          do it functionally.c, Mathematicians          do it associatively.- Mathematicians          do it with relations.e4 Mathematicians          do it with their real parts.2 Mathematicians          have to prove they did it.3 Mathematicians          do it with imaginary parts.o7 Mathematicians          do it with a Minkowski sausage.r0 Mathematicians          do it with linear pairs., Mathematicians          do it homologically.0 Mathematicians do it in grops, rings and fields.1 Mathematicians          do it with odd functions. 1 Mathematicians          do it on smooth contours. , Mathematicians          do it symmetrically.& Mathematicians          do it totally.( Mathematicians          do it in theory.+ Mathematicians          do it transitively. ' Mathematicians          do it variably. / Mathematicians          do it with prime roots.r( Mathematicians          do it partially.5 Mathematicians do it discretely, but continuously. :) * Mathematicians          do it reflexively., Mechanical engineers    do it automatically.. Mechanics               do it from underneath.- Mechanics               do it on their backs.  Mechanics do it with tools.i: Medical                 researchers make mice do it first.. Medical researchers     make mice do it first. Mermaids CAN'T do it. , Metallurgists           do it in the street., Meteorologists          do it unpredictably., Milkmen                 deliver twice a week, Millionaires            pay to have it done., Milton Berle            does it in his BVDs.! Milton Berle does it in his BVDs. . Mimes                   do it without a sound.1 Miners                  do it deeper than divers.i+ Miners                  sink deeper shafts.r Miners do it in a dark hole. Miners do it with the shaft.) Ministers               do it on Sundays..( Missile engineers       do it in stages.+ Missilemen              have better thrust. * Models                  do it beautifully.. Models                  do it in any position.; Modem manufacturers     do it with all sorts of characters. . Molecular biologists    do it with hot probes. Monks do it by hand.2 Mothers                 do it with their children.* MotoXers                do it in the dirt.> Motorcyclists           like something hot between their legs./ Motorcyclists           do it with spread legs. " Mountain climbers do it with rope. Movers do it in the van.& Movie stars             do it on film.) Music hackers           do it in concert. & Music hackers           do it audibly.0 Music hackers           do it with their organs.& Music hackers           do it at 3 am.2 Music hackers           do it with more movements.2 Music hackers           want to do it in realtime.( Music hackers           do it in scores. Musicians do it with rhythma Musicians duet in pairs.0 Native Americans        do it with reservations.0 Network hackers         know how to communicate.5 New users               do it after receiving advice..8 New users               do it after reading the helpfile: Non-smokers             do it without huffing and puffing.0 Novices                 do it with instructions. Number theorists do it "69."' Nuns                    do it by habit. ' Nurses                  call the shots.e& Nurses                  do it painless( Nurses                  do it with care.% Nurses do it with Tender Loving Care..+ OPERATOR                does it in the CTY.v. OPERATOR                does it automatically.- Oarsmen                 stroke till it hurts!i) Oceanographers          do it down under.m/ Operators               do it person-to-person.i4 Operators               really know how to mount it.+ Optometrists            do it face-to-face.wP Optometrists            do it eyeball-to-eyeball, since they always see eye-to-e ye. ; Organists               do it with both hands and both feetA" PASCAL programmers      REPEAT it. PASCAL programmers REPEAT it.a3 PASCAL users            do it with runtime support.c5 Pacific Northwest hackers do it with n loggin' sorts.h2 Painters                do it with longer strokes. Paladins don't do it. " Paladins do it good or not at all.' Pantomimists            do it silently.c, Paramedics              can revive anything.% Perfectionists          do it better. ( Perverted hackers       do it with POPs.$ Pessimists              can't do it.. Pharmacologists         do it by prescription., Pharmacologists         do it with affinity.) Philosophers            think they do it.   Philosophers            go deep./ Philosophers            do it for pure reasons.d/ Philosophers            wonder why they did it.b+ Photographers           do it with a flash.s* Physicists              do it particularly' Physicists              do it strangelyt& Physicists              do it in waves* Physicists              do it magnetically+ Physicists              do it with Tensors. ' Physicists              get a big bang.t, Physicists              do it in black holes+ Physicists              do it energeticallye/ Physicists              do it with black bodiess3 Physicists              do it on accelerated frameso0 Physicists              do it with their vectors= Physicists do it wit rigid bodies and simple harmonic motion.s) Physicists              do it repulsivelyt; Physicists              do it with uniform harmonic motion.h* Physicists              do it attractively+ Physics majors do it at the speed of light.pK Pilots                  do it with flare. (airplanes are flared on landing)f- Pilots                  do it in the cockpit..* Pilots                  keep it up longer.' Pilots                  stay up longer.r Pilots do it on the wing. + Ping-Pong players have light plastic balls. 5 Plumbers                do it with plumber's helpers.s- Plumbers                do it under the sink.i" Plumbers do it with pipe wrenches.+ Polaroid                does it in seconds.t, Polaroid                does it in one step.' Policemen               like big busts.o Politians do it on a hill.F Politicians             do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected.+ Politicians             do it to everybody.S( Polymer chemists        do it in chains.$ Postmen                 come slower." Presidents make it on the hot line. Printers                reproduce the fastest.+ Printers do it without wrinkling the sheetsm  Probate lawyers do it willingly.$ Procrastinators         do it later.) Proctologists           do it in the end. * Professors              do it by the book." Programmers do it a bit at a time.- Programmers             repeat it until done.i' Programmers             do it top down.a# Programmers do it nybble by nybble. ) Programmers             do it in softwared@ Programmers             CYCLE forever, until you make them EXIT.( Programmers             do it bottom-up./ Programmers             do it in higher levels. ) Programmers             do it on command.-5 Programmers             do it by pushing and popping. , Prolog programmers are a cut above the rest.( Promiscuous hackers     share resources.3 Prostitutes             do it at illegal addresses.s) Prostitutes             do it for profit.s+ Psychiatrists           do it on the couch.s! Psychologists do it unconsciouslyr) Psychologists           think they do it. 4 Pyrotechnics experts    do it with a blinding flash.. Quantum Physicists do it with flavr and charm.- RICS designers do it with fewer instructions.a. Racers                  like to come in first.+ Racquetball players     do it off the wall. - Racquetball players have hollow rubber balls.e0 Radio Engineers         do it till it MegaHertz.% Radio and TV Announcers broadcast it.i2 Radiologists            do it with high frequency.' Rally drivers           do it sideways.i Rangers do it in the woods.o1 Real estate people      know all the prime spots.i% Recyclers               use it again. $ Reporters               do it daily.* Reporters               do it for a story.1 Researchers             are still looking for it. / Retailers               move their merchandise.  Rhetoricians do it persuasivelyu* Robots do it with artificial intelligence.% Roofers                 do it on top. , Runners                 get into more pants. Runners do it with vigor Runners keep it up longer - SAIL hackers            follow the procedure. 1 SAIL hackers            have high service levels.e- SAIL hackers            do it with [Control].  SONAR TECHS DO IT AURALLYo< Sailors                 do it after cruising the seven seas.) Sailors                 like to be blown.r, Sailors                 get blown off shore.6 Salespeople             have a way with their tongues.& Scientists              discovered it.6 Scientists              do it with plenty of research.* Secretaries             do it from 9 to 5., Seismologists           make the earth move!+ Semanticists            do it with meaning.a+ Senators                do it on the floor.a( Sergeants               do it privately.- Set theorists           do it with cardinals. * Simulation hackers      do it with models.) Skiers                  do it with poles.u, Skiers                  do it spread eagled.% Skiers                  go down fast.u) Sky divers              do it in the air. 4 Sky divers              NEVER do it without a chute.% Skydivers               go in harder.i4 Skydivers               are good till the last drop./ Skydivers               do it at great heights.i' Skydivers               go down faster.t( Soap manufacturers      do it with Zest. Soccer players do it for kicks.l+ Soccer players          have leather balls.e" Soccer players have spotted balls.* Software designers      do it with system.6 Software engineers do it top-down . . . and bottom up.2 Software reliablity specialists keep it up longer.- Speech pathologists     are oral specialists.e0 Spellcasters do it with their rods/staves/wands.* Spelunkers              do it underground./ Sportscasters           like an instant replay..: Sprinters               do it after years of conditioning.% Stagehands              do it on cue. ' Statisticians           probably do it. - Statisticians           do it when it counts.a2 Statisticians           do it with 95% confidence.F Statisticians           do it with only a 5% chance of being rejected.4 Statisticians           do it with two-tail T tests.1 Statisticians           do it with large numbers.iP Statisticians           do it continuously but discretely.  After all, it's only  normal.) Stewardesses            do it in the air.p! Structured programmers  DO it OD. ( Students                use their heads.+ Stunt Kite fliers do it with =both= hands..kM Stwardess' just: say place this over your nose and mouth and breath normally! ( Submariners dive deeper and stay longer.* Supercomputer users     do it in parallel.' Surfers                 do it in waves.i- Surgeons                are smooth operators.n- Swashbucklers do it with three feet of steel.n2 Swimmers                do it with a breast stroke+ Swimmers                do it in the water.h2 Swimmers                do it with better strokes.$ Swimmers do it with the coach timing% Swinging hackers        Move Swapped.i3 SysOps                  do it with their computers. + System hackers          know where to poke.i' System hackers          swap on demand."* System hackers          get it up quicker.* System hackers          keep it up longer.) System hackers          are always ready.s1 Systems                 go down on their hackers.t) Systems                 have black boxes. $ Tailors                 make it fit., Taxi drivers            do it all over town.' Taxidermists            mount anything.a) Teacher Assistants      do it with class.r) Teachers                do it with class.iD Techies                 do it behind the scenes. (as in stage hands)% Techies                 do it on cue.r* Techies                 do it in the dark.5 Technicians             do it with greater frequency. ' Tennis players have fuzzy yellow balls. & Thieves do it when you're not looking. Thieves do it in leather.  Thieves do it with tools.i1 Tribological Engineers do it by using lubricants. * Trombone players do it in seven positions. Unix users do it with pipes.$ VM'ers do it virtually all the time.! Veritech pilots do it three ways.m$ Volleyball players bump their balls.+ Water polo players have slick yellow balls.e Whimps make it under cover Workers make it with drillG Writers do it creatively; they plot to bring their subjects to a climaxi Writers do it with style.i! [Butter]flyers have better rhythmi$ accountants do it with double entry.* aerobics instructors do it until it hurts. anglers do it with worms. ! archaelolgists do it in the dirt.  astronauts do it in orbit." astronomers do it under the stars.( astronomers do it with their telescopes.  astronomers do it only at night.+ astronomers can't do it with the lights on.s& astrophysicists do it with a big bang. bananas do it in bunches.a* baseball players do it for a lot of money.( beta testers do it looking for mistakes.% calligraphers do it at various angleso# chemists do it in an excited state. ( civil engineers do it by reenforcing it.! data processors do it in batches.  debators do it in their briefs.a- deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure.i dentists do it in the chair. divers do it for a score.n divers do it deeper.& dm's do it whether you like it or not.3 dm's do it in ways contrary to the laws of physics.h" dm's do it any way they feel like.* dm's do it anywhere they damn well please! dm's do it to you real good. dm's do it with dice.o dm's have better encounters. druids do it au naturel.' electrochemists have greater potential.. entymologists do it with bugs.& fantasy roleplayers do it all weekend.% fantasy roleplayers do it in a group.g$ fantasy roleplayers do it all night.' fantasy roleplayers do it in a dungeon. ( geologists know how to make the bedrock. hackers do it all night.! hackers do it with their fingers.c  hurdlers do it every ten meters. librarians do it quietly. ( long jumpers do it with a running start.5 long-distance runners do it on a predetermined route.a machine coders do it in bytes. magicians do it with mirrors.g6 malingerers do it as long as they can't get out of it. mechanics do it on their backs.i mimes do it without a sound.* mimes don't do it.  everyone hates a mime.+ molecular biologists do it with hot probes.c mountaineers do it with ropes. musicians duet in triplets  necrophiliacs do it cryptically. necrophiliacs do it CRYPTicallya. necrophiliacs do it until they are dead tired." non-smokers do it without puffing!& operators really know how to mount it.. organists do it with both hands and both feet." pediatricians do it with children.$ philosophers do it with their minds.  photographers do it in the dark.3 piano students learn on their techers' instruments.o+ podiatrists do it with someone else's feet. 3 pole vaulters do it with long flexible instruments. , printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.$ procrastinators will do it tomorrow.? proctologists do it with a finger up where the sun don't shine.a# programmers do it in higher levels.k; psychiatrists do it for at least fifty dollars per session.l public speakers do it orally. % radio operators do it with frequency.i! republicans do it to poor people.  scuba divers go deeper.s shoppers do it in the mall. 7 skeet shooters do it 25 times in 9 different positions.h3 spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity.v, sprinters do it after years of conditioning.( sprinters do it in less than 10 seconds." tap dancers do it with their feet. the FBI does it under cover.& theater majors do it with an audience.* theater techies do it in the dark, on cue.- trampoline acrobats do it swinging from bars.s, trampoline acrobats do it under the big top.% trampoline acrobats do it over a net.o% trampoline acrobats do it in the air.o2 tribiological engineers do it by using lubricants. urologists do it in a bottle.s" vegetatians don't do it with meat.! veterinarians do it with animals. ! zippy does it on his lunch break. P ================================================================================  M    I would like to thank the following dementites (plus all the others whom Ic; have lost your addresses - my appologies) for all the info.    From: sanjiv@fergvax.unl.edu2 From: kps@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Karthik P Sheka)6 From: bens@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV (Benjamin R. Sklar)  I ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^[I |    AlberCrombie    | "life's a bitch, then you marry one." - Anon.    | I |  <CESNYD01@ULKYVX  | "...A click comes from the hammer that couldn't  |rI |       .BITNET>     | drive a nail. Sense the numbing cold blue, or    |wI |       ELSE         | the red of Hades grill..."  'My Last Words'      | I | P.O. BOX 666, HELL | -------------- M E G A D E T H  ---------------- |9I ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 