$ X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 2689P Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edu Path: spcvxb!rutgers!bagate!dsinc!spool.mu.edu!wupost!emory!ogicse!usenet.ee.pdx.edu!fastrac.llnl.gov!lll-winken.llnl.gov!looking!funny-request  Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny . Subject: Lauren Bacall to White Courtesy Phone$ Message-ID: <S514.994@looking.on.ca># From: LOSTART on GEnie) (Chris   B)  Date: 9 Mar 93 09:30:02 GMT  Keywords: chuckle, true  Approved: funny@clarinet.com	 Lines: 79   L Was cleaning out my briefcase and came across this beaut I picked up off theM ground a year (or so) ago when my desk was directly next to American Airlines L baggage service office.  I agologize in advance for the formatting (speakingK to the "grammatically correct"  }B) but when it was edited with lower-case, J correct spelling and such it seemed to lose some of the comic impact these- poor agents were enduring as this unfolded...   	  AA FACTS    OSI PLEASE ID POSSIBLE PRANK=   OSI DANIELS ORVILLE JR WILL BE DRESS AS LAUREN BACALL. ATTN 0   OSI TICKET AGENT OR GATE AGENT PLEASE CHECK ID  REMARKS,   TBMEDIT/PNR UPDATED FOR 1402.00/0056/22MAY;   MR ORVILLE DANIELS JR CALLED TO CONFIRM ITN AND STATED HE 7   WOULD BE DRESSED AS LAUREN BACALL AND WANTED TO TRVLG 9   AS HER....HE WOULD BE DRESSINF UP AS HER....HAVD MR ORV ;   LLE THAT IF WERE TO PURCHASE A TKT UNDER THE NAME OF LAUR ;   EN BECALL ONLY A PAX WITH THAT NAME WILL BE ABLE TO TRVL. 7   HE WOULD NN TO SHOW ID AND IF THE ID DID NOT MATCH HE ;   WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TRVL......GOOD LUCK TO THE NEXT AGEN    T WHO GETS THIS 5/19FO  =   MR ORVILLE CALLLED ON 20 MAY AND STATED HE WOULD BE WEARING ;   A GOLD GOWN ON THE FLIGHT SO HE WOULD NOT BE DRESSED LIKE :   ANYONE ELSE TRAVELLING ON THE FLT ......GOOD LUCK TO THE   NEXT AGENT WHO GETS THIS 5/20    XTL 7   GOLD HIGH HEALS  GOLD PANTI  GOLD GOWN GOLD EAR RINGS 9   GOLD GLOVES OVER THE ELBOW GLOD NECKLES  LONG BLOND WIG 7   MINK STLOE RED RUGH LIP STICK GOLD HAND BAG  BRA GOLD )   WOULD LIKE TO REFERED TO AS MISS BACALL 3   CALLED TO WARN THE AGENT THAT HE HAS A MALE VOICE    -TBMCK;   TOLD THE PAX THAT IF HE WANTED  TO DRESS AS LAUREN BACALL <   THAT WOULD BE FINE--I TOLD HIM THAT WE MUST USE HIS OWN NA;   ME FOR INSURANCE REASON AND THAT WE NEED TO PUT THAT ON T :   HE TICKETS-- HAVE FUN WITH THE NEXT AGENT THAT GETS THIS   SATRO G PORTER6   PAX MR DANIEL CALLED AGAIN SYS THT HE NN TO HAVE TKTA   ISSUE UNDER MS BACALLES NAME BUT THT CAN NOT BE DONE ***PER CSD 8   HADV PAX THT IT IS TRUE AND WE CAN NOT ISSUE TKT UNDER@   MS BACALLES NAME*THAN PAX ASK WITH CONCERN IF HE WLD BE TREATE:   D AS A MAN OR WOMAN IF HE IS DRESSED AS A WOMAN HADV THT;   FLIGHT ATTEND WOULD TREAT HIM LIKE ANY OTHER PAX OF EITHR 8   SEX THE SAME WAY AND GET SERVICED SAME FOOD DRINKS AND<   ANY THING ELSE PAX SD OK AND HUNG UP*****..........IF CALL8   AGAIN REFER TO CSD AND TO OTHER RECORD UNDER MS BACALL;   DONT GIVE INFO ON MS BACALLS RECORD OR SAY SHE IS ON THER 5   PAX CALLED ONCE AGAIN TO ADV THAT HE/LL BE MAKING A 9   GRAND ENTRANCE AT THE ATO COMPLETE WITH BODYGUARKS...HE 7   WANTED TO ALSO CHK ON ITIN IF HIS COMP UPGRADE TO LON :   WAS INCLUDED IN THIS RES...ASKED HIM HOW HE GOT THE COMP6   UPGRADE AND HE SAID THAT THE LAST AGT HAD PROMISED A8   FREE UPGRADE IF HE TRAVELED BEFORE 15JUN...HAVD PAX OF7   INFO IN /FLYINTL/ REGARDING F/C/Y TRAVEL BEFORE 15JUN 9   AND RECVG FREE TKT GOOD FOR TVL THIS FALL AND THAT HE/D 4   NN TO BE AN AADV MEMBER ALSO...HE ADV THAT HE IS A9   PREMIUM AADV TRAVELER ON AMERICA WEST /HE MUST BE LOST/ 6   ...ANYWAY, CALLED CSD REGARDING PAX AND THEY SAID TO6   ASK FOR HIS HOME FON NUMBER SINCE FON LISTED IN THIS;   REC IS INCORRECT...WENT BACK TO PAX AND ASKED FOR FON CTC 8   AND HE ADV THAT HE ALREADY GAVE US THE NUMBER AND THAT8   HIS MAKEUP WAS RUNNING....HE HUNG UP AND THAT WAS THAT1   HE/S GOING INTL NOW, ICSD BEWARE..........21MAY    TBM PAYMENT DUE 01JUN    TBM AUTO CANCEL 16JUN    XXTAI21MAY/04JUN X8   PAX CLD AGAIN ON 5/24 /LUCKY ME/ CLD CSD AND THEY JUST6   TOLD ME TO TELL HEM THAT EVERYTHING WAS IN ORDER AND#   THAT WE WOULD SEE HIM AT THE GATE   RECEIVED FROM - MR BACALL    ' I wonder if this ever continued...   B)  --O Selected by Maddi Hausmann.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.   J Please!  No copyrighted stuff.  Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics,G Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes. 