$ X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 2579P Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edua Path: spcvxb!rutgers!bobsbox.rent.com!s4mjs!plts!sdl!news.mentorg.com!uunet!looking!funny-request  Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny # Subject: System Problem Report Form % Message-ID: <S4ed.34ba@looking.on.ca> - From: bmh@terminus.ericsson.se (Bernard Hatt)  Date: 29 Jan 93 00:30:02 GMT& Keywords: chuckle, computers, original Approved: funny@clarinet.com
 Lines: 108     			SYSTEM PROBLEM REPORT FORM   J This is a form to make the reporting of problems consistent, allow recordsH of problems to be kept and a method of discouraging users from reporting faults in the first place.   1.	Your name ? ________________   % 2.	Your login name ? ________________    3.	The date ? ___/___/___   A 4.	The date the problem first occurred if different ? ___/___/___    5.	Problem severity $ 	Minor __	Minor __	Minor __	Minor __  # 6.	Which machine ? ________________   & 7.	Which area appears to be at fault ?) 	Communications __	Disk __		Base unit  __ * 	Network __	Keyboard __	Screen __	Mouse __ 	Everything __	Don't know __   7.1	Is it plugged in ? 					Yes __		No __   7.2	Is it switched on ?  					Yes __		No __   7.3	Has it been stolen ? 					Yes __		No __  ' 7.4	Have you tried to fix it yourself ?  					Yes __		No __   7.4.1	Have you made it worse ? 					Yes __    7.5	Have you read the manual ? 					Yes __		No __  + 7.5.1	Are you sure you`ve read the manual ?  					Yes __		No __  8 7.5.2	Are you absolutly certain you`ve read the manual ? 					Yes __		No __   7.6	Did you understand it ?  					Yes __		No __  . 7.6.1	If 'Yes' why can't you fix it yourself ?A 	________________________________________________________________   ) 7.7	Is the equipment unexpectedly noisy ?  					Yes __		No __  # 7.7.1	If 'Yes' what sort of noise ? : 	Grinding __	Rattling __	Whirring __	High pitched whine __$ 	Sound of disk head scouring disk __/ 	Strange, out of tune,  whistling or humming __   ! 7.8	Is there a smell of burning ?  					Yes __		No __  ) 7.8.1	If `Yes' is the equipment on fire ?  					Yes __		No __   7.9	Is the fault repeatable ?  					Yes __		No __  M 7.10	What were you doing (with the equipment) at the time the fault occurred? A 	________________________________________________________________   3 7.10.1	If 'nothing' explain why you were logged in. A 	________________________________________________________________    7.11	What are the 39 steps ?A 	________________________________________________________________   3 7.12	Are you sure you arn't imagining the problem ?  					Yes __		No __  ; 7.13	Do you have any independant witnesses of the problem ?  					Yes __		No __   7.14	Describe the problem.A 	________________________________________________________________   * 7.15	Now, describe the problem accurately.A 	________________________________________________________________   5 7.16	Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem. A 	________________________________________________________________ A 	________________________________________________________________   < 7.17	Can't you do something else, rather than bothering me ? 					Yes __		No __     --N Selected by Maddi Hausmann.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.comJ Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.  G Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@clarinet.com B (ie. jokes which won't be funny if not given immediate attention.)I Anything that is not a joke submission goes to funny-request@clarinet.com 