$ X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.humor.funny: 2564P Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.1B4+SPC1 6/9/92 VAX/VMS V5.5-2; site spcvxb.spc.edui Path: spcvxb!rutgers!bobsbox.rent.com!s4mjs!plts!sdl!news.mentorg.com!uunet!psinntp!looking!funny-request  Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny  Subject: New serial cables% Message-ID: <S4e6.3730@looking.on.ca> - From: rupa@f-454.fidonet.org (Rupa Schomaker)  Date: 22 Jan 93 00:30:11 GMT Keywords: chuckle, computers Approved: funny@clarinet.com
 Lines: 125  L I reveiced this from Crazy J on fidonet node 1:3600/7:  (attempts to contact& the author at CServe have been futile)  " Non-techno-jocks stop reading now.  .                       DL-232 -- A New Standard  (                            by Dave Lyons;         (CompuCenter Iowa: JoeApple; CompuServe 72177,3233)   F      I may never understand how the designers of the RS-232 "standard"H for serial communication managed to use 25 wires where only 3 are reallyG necessary.  Maybe they made a deal with the companies that make cables, 1 connectors, and switch boxes...I just don't know.   H      Well, I thought of a few things that the RS-232 standard lacks, andD since there are already so many extra signals, a few more can't hurtH anybody, right?  Heck, let's go for 50-pin connectors and cables and addD the following new signals.  (Just to make sure this isn't compatibleC with any old equipment, all OLD signals are moved up one pin number H (Carrier Detect becomes 9 instead of 8, etc., and pin 25 goes to pin 1).      Pin  Name      Description   ---  ----      ----------- E   26  XCAT      Should be connected to chassis of devices.  Used with F                 the next two signals, this provides protection againstG                 cats who haven't learned not to walk on floppy disks or G                 serial equipment.  This signal should supply about 2000 D                 volts (at a VERY low current level; wouldn't want toH                 HURT the cute little thing, just teach it not to walk on/                 anything in the computer room).   E   27  CATGND    Cat ground.  Used with pin 26.  This signal should be ?                 connected to another part of the chassis or the                  tabletop.      28  CTD       Cat detect.   A   29  SD        Self-destruct.  This signals causes the device to                  destroy itself.   H   30  SDACK     Self-destruct acknowledge.  Acknowledges that the device%                 has destroyed itself.   F   31  VADIC     This signal indicates to a computer that the device onB                 the other end is a modem that uses VADIC protocol.H                 (Note:  CompuCenter Iowa users should jumper this signal3                 to SD and then buy a decent modem.)   G   32  STBIT1    Stutter bits.  With pin 33, sets the number of "stutter F                 bits" (0 to 3 of them) to be included before each byteE                 transmitted. This may reduce the number of people who H                 feel inferior to computer equipment by showing them thatF                 computers have problems communicating with each other.   33  STBIT2  G   34  CABR      Cable ready.  It's not enough to know that the Data Set G                 is ready (DSR) and the Data Terminal is read (DTR).  We C                 also need to know that the CABLE connecting them is                  ready.  F   35  GRR       Gremlins ready.  Not everybody knows it, but there areH                 little green guys inside most modern computer equipment.G                 Most of the time they sleep, but other times they cause K                 trouble.  The next 6 signals are for dealing with gremlins.   A   36  220A      Used with pin 37, supplies 220 volt power for the F                 gremlins' air conditioning.  On hot days when gremlinsH                 can't sleep, applying power to these pins may solve your                 problems. 
   37  220B  E   38  110H      110 volts, hot side.  When the 220 volt power doesn't G                 help and gremlin problems persist, use this with pin 39 G                 to supply 110 volts for the gremlins' TV and video game                  center.   (   39  110N      110 volts, neutral side.  A   40  MOON      Indicates the phase of the moon. Sometimes solves $                 mysterious problems.  F   41  LHI       Pins 41 through 45 can be used to implement the "like"G                 protocol when the normal RTS/CTS protocol isn't enough. C                 This one means "Like HI" and is used to establish a                  connection.   9   42  LHTY2     Like HI to You Too.  Acknowledges pin 41.   G   43  LLTT      Like Listen To This.  Requests permission to send data.   =   44  LOK       Like OK.  Grants permission to transmit data.   8   45  LWOW      Like WOW.  Acknowledges receipt of data.  E   46  HEY       Pins 46 to 50 may be used to implement the "Eighties" G                 protocol when RTS/CTS and "Like" protocols won't do the F                 job.  This signal is similar to RTS (Request to Send).  .   47  NP        No Problem.  Acknowledges HEY.  <   48  HUH?      Signals that data was not received correctly8                 (possibly wrong number of stutter bits).  +   49  YEAH      Acknowledges data received.   ;   50  KMG365    Like YEAH, but for avid Emergency One fans.   D That makes 50!  Let's hear your suggestions for MORE serial signals.C Maybe we can get 100 and REALLY make the cable manufacturers happy.    --<    UUCP -> rupa@f-454.fidonet.org     FidoNet ->  1:106/1024  E     -=(Rupa)=-   [Entered on <21 Oct 92> at <22:11> in Houston Texas]      --N Selected by Maddi Hausmann.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.comJ Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.  G Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@clarinet.com B (ie. jokes which won't be funny if not given immediate attention.)I Anything that is not a joke submission goes to funny-request@clarinet.com 