I From:	SPCVXB::IN%"BEN@SPCVXB.BITNET"  "Ben Cohen" 20-APR-1990 16:47:23.49 
 To:	_TERRY CC:	3 Subj:	FYI: Shock bat expose (was Re: nit-pickyness)    Date: Fri, 20 Apr 90 16:46 EDT# From: Ben Cohen <BEN@SPCVXB.BITNET> 6 Subject: FYI: Shock bat expose (was Re: nit-pickyness) To: TERRY@SPCVXA.BITNET . Message-id: <A819BEC5B65FE00D83@SPCVXB.BITNET>' X-Organization: St. Peter's College, US  X-Envelope-to: TERRY@SPCVXA " X-VMS-To: terry,spcvxa::kegelman_p   X-News: spcvxa misc.misc:2794 From: foster@jumbly.dec.com (Steven Fruitbat Foster)0 Subject:Shock bat expose (was Re: nit-pickyness) Date: 20 Apr 90 04:53:47 GMT% Message-ID:<10429@shlump.nac.dec.com>   J In article <24000002@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>, cs121dt@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu writes... > C > Written 11:13 pm  Apr 18, 1990 by wargopl@image.soe.clarkson.edu:  > 5 >> Gee, I was unaware of any .signature guidelines... ! >> (Wanna tell me what they are?)  > / >It's gotta be funny, or nobody loves you.  :-)   E Oh god, the great .signature debate. Sod the net guidelines! Enjoy...    A guide to the fruitbats .sig:  N 1. Name. Important. Make sure that I don't arrive at the bottom of the articleK and discover that I've turned into Tim Maroney, Diane, Mike Lohr [:-)] etc. < On discovery of lobotomy, go back and remove silly comments.  H 2. Company. Kudos. "My company is bigger than your company". Little blueM eyed university boys look wonderously into my e-eyes and say "Uncle fruitbat, K you big important work company, can I suck dick?". Very useful, is company.   L 3. Address. All DEC buildings look the same. Make sure not come into ReadingH in the morning and leave in California in the afternoon. Also means that9 aforementioned blue-eyed creatures know where to find me.   G 4. Political quote. I HATE THE POLL TAX. I WANT EVERYBODY ELSE TO KNOW. I The British have got excited about something. This is unusual, and should J be noted by people who think we sit in restaurants, suffer bad service andM enjoy it. This quote not advisable for those who don't want endless discourse  on politics...  J 5. Email address. Unneccesary, cos at top of article, but there are alwaysL those who forget where I live by the time they reach the end of the article.  J 6. British path. In the UK, everything is done differently.UK people don'tH use same standard as rest of civilisation, so is complicated. Fills up a. rather empty hole that I had left, as well....  H 7. Disclaimer. Quite how anybody would mistake the opinions of the net'sI most illustrious Queen Fruitbat for those of The Great Lord Ken Olsen and C his company is beyond me. Nonetheless, DEC may, or may not (shut up G vroomfondel) agree with me. The company cannot be sued for any children / or marriages that result from my news postings.   G 8. Lines. I'm a traditionalist. Signatures should be enclosed in little L boxes, with interesting lines or attempts at recreating the mona lisa. GivesM the feeling that great love and care were taken over the creation of the sig. M The little plus signs give it that delightfully chinzy look. Please note that G everyone doesn't use the same terminal. Eighty four wide signatures may O signify big terminal, but come across as kangaroo vomit on an 80 char terminal. N Also, leather representations do not always come out black, and pink trianglesN rarely are pink, except on my terminal which has eleven shades of it on screen at once.  I 9. Silly quote. I must have something to fiddle with. Periodically change N quote if bored, or mailbox empty. Changing signatures always shock people intoG sending you mail... The silly quote is usually outrageous, obscene or a K terrible in-joke. Periodical lunges for scrap paper occur during television G programmes: "Hey, that'll make a great quote". Unfortunately, the paper J generally gets eaten by mistake, so most witty comments lost to posterity.  L 10. The four-line sig. It's well known that bats can't count. And proof thatL the long .sig = small dick hypothesis is false. But that's another story ;-)  	 Fruitbat.   N +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+N | Steve Fruitbat Foster   | foster@jumbly.enet.dec.com [+@uk.ac.nsfnet-relay]|N | Digital Equipment Corp. +--------------------------------------------------|N | Reading, UK.            | These opinions are not necessarily those of DEC, |N | **STUFF THE POLL TAX**  | my assorted cuddly toys or anybody whatsoever.   |N +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+  O You're *not* using my dick to play space invaders      - Kay Dekker indignantly 