n X-NEWS: spcvxb comp.dcom.telecom: 5405Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0 10/3/90 VAX/VMS V5.3; site spcvxb.spc.eduP Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!njin!rutgers!mailrus!accuvax.nwu.edu!nucsrl!telecom-request Newsgroups: comp.dcom.telecom 3 Subject: Last Laugh! Re: Answering Machine Messages # Message-ID: <12390@accuvax.nwu.edu> ( From: spaf@cs.purdue.edu (Gene Spafford) Date: 20 Sep 90 23:23:09 GMT, Reply-To: Gene Spafford <spaf@cs.purdue.edu> Sender: news@accuvax.nwu.edu? Organization: Department of Computer Science, Purdue University  Approved: Telecom@eecs.nwu.edu& X-Submissions-To: telecom@eecs.nwu.edu0 X-Administrivia-To: telecom-request@eecs.nwu.edu6 X-Telecom-Digest: Volume 10, Issue 663, Message 6 of 6	 Lines: 81     = This has always been a topic of interest to netters.  From my 	 archives:   ,    From: spaf@gatech.UI@iUCP (Gene Spafford)%    Newsgroups: net.followup,net.humor 3    Subject: Re: Boring answering-machine recordings $    Date: Sun, 20-May-84 19:46:11 EDT#    Posted: Sun May 20 19:46:11 1984    @ Well, I try to keep mine from getting too boring.  The followingA recordings seem to have been enjoyed by most of our callers.  Fun E recordings just take a little imagination and a little time.  Anybody G else got any good ones they'd like to share? (BTW, Dave is my roommate,  and Waldo is our cat.)   D "Hi, this is Gene.  Neither Dave, Waldo, nor I can come to the phone< right now.  We're being detained by the authorities due to aG misunderstanding about some underage sheep.  If you'll leave your name, F phone number, and the time of your call after the tone, we'll get back8 to you just as soon as we can post bail.  Baaah-baaahh."   F "Hi, this is Gene.  Dave, Waldo and I are currently on Neptune helping? to thwart an invasion by the evil lizard men and their sinister B companions, the brain moles.  If you'll leave your name and number: after the tone, we'll get back to you as soon as we returnD victorious....or as soon as the drugs wear off and reality reasserts itself."  F "Hi, this is Gene.  Dave, Waldo and I aren't exactly here exactly now.D We're out testing a new time machine.  If you'll leave your name andG number after the tone, we'll get back to your as soon as we return.  In G fact, if the test is successful, we may even call you before we leave!"   F "Hi, this is Gene.  Dave, Waldo and I are on a secret mission with theE galactic patrol and we can't answer the phone.  Since call forwarding A doesn't extend outside the solar system, we've set up this little D miracle of modern electronics.  Just recite your name, phone number,G and planet of origin after the 'beep', and we'll call you back upon our  return."  
 At Christmas:   E "Ho, ho, ho!  This is Santa.  Dave, Gene, and Waldo can't come to the A phone right now because they're out practising pulling my sleigh. B It seems those new elves I hired were actually fairies, and all myG reindeer are down with AIDS.  The boys have agreed to pull my sleigh in G return for my not releasing the photos which illustrate why they're not C getting anything but coal in their stockings this year.  Leave your C name and number after the tone, and I'll unhitch them and have them  call.  Merry Christmas!"   And for the next few weeks:   C "Hi, this is Gene.  Dave, Waldo and I can't come to the phone right B now, because we're taking a hypnotism lesson.  But you don't mind,F because you're feeling so relaxed.  Your eyelids are feeling heavy andF you are getting very drowsy.  You're asleep.  After you hear the tone,E you'll leave your name and telephone number.  Then you'll hang up and F mail us all your money.  Then you'll dress up in a rubber chicken suitG and gather twigs to build a nest in your front lawn.  After that, we'll 2 either return your call or visit you in the home."     Not at all a well duck,                  9                 (long ago, when this message was written)        Off the Wall of Gene SpaffordD    The Clouds Project, School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 303328    CSNet:	Spaf @ GATech		ARPA:	Spaf%GATech @ CSNet-Relay>    uucp:	...!{akgua,allegra,ihnp4,masscomp,ut-ngp}!gatech!spaf8    	...!{rlgvax,sb1,uf-cgrl,unmvax,ut-sally}!gatech!spaf     (                 (at present, fall, 1990)  
 Gene Spafford > NSF/Purdue/U of Florida  Software Engineering Research Center,I Dept. of Computer Sciences, Purdue University, W. Lafayette IN 47907-2004 J Internet:  spaf@cs.purdue.edu	uucp:	...!{decwrl,gatech,ucbvax}!purdue!spaf