% X-NEWS: spcvxa rec.music.dementia: 62 J Relay-Version: VMS News - V5.9C 19/12/89 VAX/VMS V5.3; site spcvxa.spc.edu} Path: spcvxa!njin!uupsi!rpi!brutus.cs.uiuc.edu!samsung!cs.utexas.edu!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!pt.cs.cmu.edu!andrew.cmu.edu!jdr+  Newsgroups: rec.music.dementia Subject: Wet Dream - lyrics / Message-ID: <sa3e=g600Xo2M2aih0@andrew.cmu.edu> * From: jdr+@andrew.cmu.edu (Jeff Rosenfeld) Date: 26 Mar 90 23:17:00 GMTY References: <90064.013952DCS100@psuvm.psu.edu>, <Mar.7.17.39.21.1990.5311@pilot.njin.net> - Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA 6 In-Reply-To: <Mar.7.17.39.21.1990.5311@pilot.njin.net>	 Lines: 94    It was the 41st of April,  	being a quadruple leap year. ( I was driving through downtown Atlantis.< My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, 	and it was overheating." I pulled off into a Shell station. They said I'd blown a seal.  I said,   > 	"Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay 	pal?"    : While they were doing that I walked over to a place called  "The Oyster Bar" -- a real dive.  9 But I knew the owner -- he used to play for the Dolphins.  I said "Hi, Gil!" ' You have to yell, he's hard of herring.      Gil was also down on his luck.4 Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water. I bellied up to the sandbar. He poured me the usual -- 5 	Rusty snail, hold the grunnion, shaken, not stirred. < 	With a peanut-butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side --  	   heavy on the mako." I slipped him a fin - on porpoise. I was feelin' good. ; I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids.  	For the halibut.    Well, the place was crowded.  We were packed in like sardines.E They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal.  	What sole. 5 Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna,         Salmon-chanted evening,5 And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers -- & Probably there to see the bass player.  , One of them was this cute little yellowtail,#      and she was giving me the eye. 1 So I figured this was my chance for a little fun.  	You know, piece of pisces.   + But she said things I just couldn't fathom.  	She was too deep.& 	Seemed to be under a lot of pressure. Boy, could she drink. " She drank like a- She drank a lot.   I said "What's your sign?" She said, "Aquarium." # I said, "Great!  Let's get tanked!"   8 I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait.5 I said, "C'mon, baby, it'll only take a few minnows."   She threw me that same old line,$ 	"Not tonight.  I've got a haddock."  A And she wasn't kidding either, cause in came the biggest, meanest 2 	looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike. He was covered with mussels.D He came over to me, he said "Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' 	around here." What a crab. This guy was steamed. (     I could see the anchor in his eyes.	  A I turned to him, I said "A-balone.  You're just bein' shellfish." D Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, cause he& 	was already on the phone to the cods.( The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch him with a left hook. 
 He eels over. H It was a fluke, but there he was, lyin' on the deck, flat as a mackerel.	 Kelpless.   A I said, "Forget the cods, Gil, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon." < Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her 	boyfriend. A She came over to me, she said "Hey, big boy, you're really a game  	fish.  What's your name?" I said, "Marlin."   - Well, from then on, we had a whale of a time.  I took her to dinner.  I took her to dance.$ I bought her a bouquet of flounders. And then I went home with her." And what did I get for my trouble?   A case of the clams.