$ X-NEWS: spcvxb rec.arts.drwho: 12825K Relay-Version: VMS News - V6.0-3 14/03/90 VAX/VMS V5.4; site spcvxb.spc.edu ~ Path: spcvxb.spc.edu!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!usenet.ins.cwru.edu!cwns5!xx138 Newsgroups: rec.arts.drwho* Subject: Re: Invitation to Submit Material7 Message-ID: <1992May5.132353.17963@usenet.ins.cwru.edu> + From: mokry@ctr.columbia.edu (Robert Mokry)  Date: 5 May 92 13:23:53 GMT   Sender: news@usenet.ins.cwru.eduE Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio, (USA) & Posted-By: xx138 (tlg4 - TJ Goldstein)% Nntp-Posting-Host: cwns5.ins.cwru.edu & Edited-By: xx138 (tlg4 - TJ Goldstein)
 Lines: 209  B Well, here's a little thing relating to Dr.Who (as well as variousE cartoon characters) that I wrote about two years ago.  At that time I : posted it to rec.arts.drwho, but I doubt anyone remembers.  =                                                      --Robert    -------------------     I Since the BBC has put Dr. Who on hold for the moment, there has been some F talk about the possible actors who would play the doctor when the show3 comes back (we hope).  May I suggest the following:     N Barney:     Gee, I don't know Fred, do you think this deserted quarry is safe?  L Fred:       Safe?  Safe?  SAFE?  It is just as safe as flying in the Tardis.  + Barney:     Yeah, that's what worries me.     J Fred:       I know this strange and forbidding landscape unnerves you, butJ             I as a time lord am used to these things.  It won't hurt you.              I promise.  H Barney:     I wasn't worried about the landscape, because it looks a lotK             like the old BBC gravel pit.  But what if one of those boulders              should fall on us?  = Fred:       Then I shall crush it with my irrisistible charm.   8 Barney:     Fred, I saw something move behind that rock!  ) [Mr. Slate appears from behind the rock.]   # Fred:       Oh no, it's the Master!   C Mr. Slate:  All right, you shiftless freeloaders, I've got you now. @             I shall use my tissue compression eliminator on you.  F [Mr. Slate produces a bird, and points the bird's bill at our heroes.]  C Mr. Slate:  Now you shall never stop me again, and I shall rule the              universe!   % Bird:       Oh, no, here we go again.   K Mr. Slate:  Shut up!  I am the Master, and I will not tolerate any backtalk              from my weapons.  I [Mr. Slate repeatedly squeezes the bird, causing it to open and close its L mouth.  For some inexplicable reason, this causes the rock behind our heroes# to shrink to the size of a pebble.]   1 Barney:     Fred, let's get the heck out of here!    Fred:       In a minute.  H Barney:     Fred, why do you have that goofy smile on your face and what+             are you holding in your pocket?   G [Fred doesn't reply, but continues to smile at Mr. Slate, who continues  to squeeze his bird.]    Mr. Slate:  Die, Die, Die!  G Barney:     Fred, I've found the Master's Tardis!  It is disguised as a              boulder!  ( [Suddenly, Mr. Slate's pants fall down.]  " Barney:     Fred, did you do that?  M Fred:       Yes, I produced a local spacial deformation, causing the Master's )             belt buckle to become undone.   " Barney:     But how did you do it?  < [Fred takes a large strange looking fish out of his pocket.]  . Fred:       I used my sonic hammer-head shark.  > Barney:     I don't see how a hammer could undo a belt buckle.  K Fred:       My dear Barney, when you have a hammer, everything looks like a              nail.   H Barney:     Hu, hu, hu, hu, that's very funny Fred; now let's get out ofE             here before the Master gets his pants up.  We can use the              Master's Tardis.  H [Barney disappears into the Master's boulder-shaped Tardis, leaving Fred alone in the quarry.]   G Fred:       Barney?  Where are you?  I wasn't paying attention.  Which  +             boulder is the Master's Tardis?   H [Fred runs against one boulder after another (with the appropriate soundH effects).  Finally he disappears into the correct one, and falls to the " floor inside the Master's Tardis.]   Barney:     Hu, hu, hu, hu,   N Fred:       Shut up Rubble, and let's dematerialize before the Master appears.  H [Fred fondles various small animals on the console, causing the kangaroo2 in the center of the console to jump up and down.]  ( Barney:     Good thing that's over with.  L Fred:       Over?  Over?  OVER?  My dear Barney, this is only the beginning!             YABBA-DABBA-DOOOOO!     F Will our heroes be able to successful pilot the Master's Tardis?  WillB they be able to find their own Tardis?  Where are Betty and Wilma?K Where is Dino-9?  The only way you will find the answer to these and other  J exciting questions is to write the next episode yourself, because I'm not  going to do it.  :-)    J --------------------------------------------------------------------------    , Or how about some other one-to-one pairings:   ----------------------   Doctor    == Yogi Bear Companion == Bobo  Master    == The Ranger   % Bobo:  Yogi, what are we looking for?   D Yogi:  Hey hey hey little buddy, we are looking for a picnic basket.  ' Bobo:  But Yogi, why are we doing that?   I Yogi:  Because it really is the key of time disguised as a picnic basket.   " Bobo:  How did you know that Yogi?  J Yogi:  Hey hey hey, I'm smarter than the average Timelord.  Come on little3        buddy, let's find it before the Ranger does.    ----------------------   Doctor    == Bulwinkle Companion == Rockey  Master    == Boris   Rani      == Natasha  0 Bulwinkle:  Hey Rocky, watch me fly this Tardis.  A Rocky:      Oh no, please Bullwinkle, can't you do someting else?   M Bulwinkle:  Well then, why don't I pull a gumblejack out of this hat instead.   9 Rocky:      That's not a gumblejack!  That's a Tructator!   5 Bulwinkle:  Siii-Roooo, Siii-Roooo, Siii-Roooooooooo.   G Rocky:      But Bulwinkle, Venusian lulabyes don't work on a Tructator!   6 Bulwinkle:  They don't?  Well then, what are we to do?  I Rocky:      There's nothing we can do Bulwinkle; the Tructator is already "             beginning to tructate!  I Will our heroes escape from the tructating Tructator?  Will they ever get G to see a gumblejack?  Tune in next time for "Tructator Teminator 2" or  & "Silly Rocky, Trucators are for Kids".   ----------------------   Doctor    == Popey Companion == Olive Oil Master    == Bluto  4 Olive:  Oh Popey, what exactly are we searching for?  B Popey:  We're looking for a disguised canister of Mnumismeton Gas.  : Olive:  But Popey, how will we find it if it is disguised?  G Popey:  Just look for somethingkst that lookst like a can with the word (         word "spinachskt" printed on it.  # Olive:  Oh Popey, you are so smart.   D Popey:  I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam, cause I'm Popey 2         the Time Lord.  Pooo, pooo.  Akkka, akkka.   ----------------------   Doctor    == The Bull Dog  Companion == Jerry Master    == Tom  2 [No words here, because Tom and Jerry don't talk.]   ----------------------   And that's all folks.    --  ; xx138@cleveland.Freenet.Edu   (SciFi/Fantasy: Media Forums) ; ----------------------------------------------------------- ; The User's Book Reviews                       The Anthology ; Science Fiction & Fantasy: Movies         Book Lovers Forum 