& X-NEWS: spcvxa rec.arts.startrek: 3654J Relay-Version: VMS News - V5.9C 19/12/89 VAX/VMS V5.3; site spcvxa.spc.edu9 Path: spcvxa!njin!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!wshb!calvin 0 Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf-lovers,rec.arts.startrek( Subject: Star Tek:The Wraith of Viewers. Message-ID: <642@wshb.UUCP> ' From: calvin@wshb.UUCP ( WSHB employee)  Date: 9 Apr 90 14:43:11 GMT  Followup-To: poster C Organization: WSHB, Christian Science Mon. Synd., Cypress Creek, SC 
 Lines: 228; Xref: spcvxa rec.arts.sf-lovers:2538 rec.arts.startrek:3654    			ST:The Odd Generation 			       meets  			ST:The Nerd Generation     ? 	Our story opens with Captain Kwirk in the Command Chair of the @   Enterplied A with a radical new set of pink windshield wipers.   (Fade to the bridge)   H   Spook:  Captain Star Fleet code 276 artical 12 forebids the wiping of "   boogers under the Command Chair.  G   Kwirk:  Mind your own business Spook.  If I need some ones opinion I  F   wont ask some one with pointed ears.  Why are you just sitting there   Get busy.   H   Spook:  I have nothing to do while we aren't incountering unknown life   forms.  >   Kwirk:  Well go clean the wax out of your ears or something.  )    	A light blinks on Chickov's controls.   I   Kwirk:  How many times do I have to tell you Chickov, no personal calls G   while I'm sitting here.  I'm supposed to get all of the women on this    ship.   F   Chickov:  Sir thats not the communicator.  Thats our Stinkon Bird of   Prayer Detector.  L   Kwirk:  No, not those damn Bible salesmen again.  How did you detect them?;   I thought we couldn't detect them when they were cloaked.   E   Chickov:  Spook got the detector out of a box of Buck Wheat cereal.   C   Kwirk:  Spook that was my box of cereal!  It's  mine, mine, mine.   5   Chickov:  Bird of Prayer is 20 Microns and closing.   M   Kwirk:  Your in the wrong damn show Chickov.  Spook give him twenty Vulcoon 
   wedgies.     	A chime is heard.  K   Kwirk:  Damn, they've made it to the door.  Quick turn off all the lights !   and we'll pretend no ones home.   5   Spook:  Too late Captain there firing Bible trackts   (   Kwirk:  Evasive manuvers Betty Sue Lu.  5   Betty Sue Lu:  But Sir, we're at a school crossing.   6   Kwirk:  I don't care.  Who's in control here anyway?  $   Spook:  I think Gene DeadnBurried.  1 	With this a brief pause for some reverent music.   %   Kwirk:  Your releaved Betty Sue Lu.   F   	Kwirk jumps to the steering wheel and gives it a savage twist as he; shifts into second.  A strange blue light fills the bridge.      Kwirk:  Spook what is it?   % 	Spook looks in the rear view mirror.   I   Spook:  Sir,  it's the Police.  You ran over two Jovian kids and failed    to give a turn signal.  I   Kwirk:  I can't afford a ticket.  I've only got a class 5 space scooter I   permit.  I'll have to try to lose them, but just in case.  Betty Sue Lu 3   you can drive now.  Unbelievable speed factor 46.   C   	The Enterplied warps away.  Kwirks communicator whistles at him.      Kwirk:  Yes Snoty.  %   Snoty:  How did you know it was me?   I   Kwirk:  Your the only person that whistles at me before you speak.  You    sly dog you.  I   Snoty:  Sir when you warped you failed to give us warning.  You cracked H   the It-Doesn't Matter pods.  The only thing we can repair them with isH   empty aluminum Budwieser cans.  My crew is attempting to empty as many6   as we possibly can, (burp) but it's gonna take time.  2   Kwirk:  Very well Snoty.  Keep up the good work.  &   Snoty:  (burp) I'll try my best sir.     Kwirk:  Kwirk out.     	Kwirk's communicator bleeps.      Kwirk:  Kwirk here.   2   Voice:  Please deposit 23 credits for over time.  (   Kwirk:  Damn!  Snoty stiffed me again.  H   Spook:  Captain due to the It-Doesn't matter imbalance we have entered   a Wine O  effect.   8   	Kwirk looks at the screen as it swerves and staggers.  "   Kwirk:  What does it mean Spook?  K   Spook:  It means that we will have a hell of a hangover tommorow morning. 6   It also means that we will meet The Nerd Generation.     Kwirk:  How do you know this?   E   Spook:  Do you remember when I gave you that old book in one of the    other movies?   3   Kwirk:  Yeah,  when McCrow gave me those glasses.      Spook:  That was the script.     Kwirk:  Do I get any women?    	The bridge rocks violently.     Kwirk:  What was that?  +   Spook:  We ran into another ship Captain.   I   Kwirk:  There goes my insurance rates.  Put it on the screen and wheres    my pop corn.  ( 	The Enterplied D appears on the screen.  %   Kwirk:  It's that bald idiot again.      Spook:  Sickhard Sir.   &   Kwirk:  Aguru is it past twelve yet?     Aguru:  No Sir.  Why?   K   Kwirk:  You get cheaper long distance rates.  Well make a collect Hailing    frequency call. O -------------------------------------------------------------------------------   D 	Mean while aboard the Enterplied D Sickhard and Counselor Ohboy sit'   in there beautiful control Love Seat.   %   Sickhard:  What was that Mr. Datar?   2   Datar:  I think you better see for yourself sir.  ? 	The screen pops to life showing the Enterplied A with its pink    windshield wiper.   E   Sickhard:  Its that over rated, non-director material buffon Kwirk.   5   Comm Officer:  There attempting a collect call sir.      Sickhard:  Hang up on them.      Comm Officer:  I can't sir.   $   Sickhard:  What do you feel Ohboy?  B   Ohboy:  I feel a sharp pain in my neck that says we need to sue. 	 ' 	Just then Kwirk appears on the screen.   (   Kwirk:  You dented my fender Sickhard!  #   Sickhard:  You ran into us Kwirk.      Kwirk:  Did not!     Sickhard:  Did too.      Kwirk:  Did not!     Sickhard:  O.k.  You didn't.     Kwirk:  Did too!     Sickhard:  I knew you did.     Kwirk:  I'm tired of talking.   1   Sickhard:  Arm all Photon Rubber Bands Chickov!      Kwirk:  That was my line!      Sickhard:  Sorry.   +   Kwirk:  I'll trade you Chickov for Ohboy!   '   Sickhard:  That wasn't in the script.   %   Kwirk:  So I have a poets liscense.   (   Sickhard:  Your a very sick man Kwirk.  F   Kwirk:  Very well!  Arm all Photon Rubber Bands Chickov!  Prepare to   fire!   $   Sickhard:  What should I do Ohboy?     	Ohboy grabs his hand.     Sickhard:  Not now Ohboy.   +   Ohboy:  Idiot.  I'm gonna read your palm.   E   Sickhard:  Oh great,  Im gonna get my palm red at a time like this.   ,   Ohboy:  It never failed for Ronald Raygun.  O -------------------------------------------------------------------------------   E 	Could this be the end of the Enterplieds?  Could this have a ending? K   Only if the E-mail is great enough too aspire to Gene DeadnBurried's ego.     --  7 ...uunet!wshb!calvin       =========     0-----\+++++++ 7 Kamikazi"Calvin"               @                \------ ) From a warped mind comes warped products. H These are my opinions.  Quick put on the Bat Anti-Flame Goggles Robin!!!